Photos

We went to the zoo with NanaLin, Brooklyn, Aunties Tosha & Katie
(more photos of that later)

The best we can do with our subjects...
Don't they look adorable in their matching/coordinating outfits?

The beautiful girls!

Such a cute photo!

Auntie Jodi with a not so excited Megan

More to come...

2nd Birthday Party

We started off in our birthday dress...(the pants were a last minute addition with the cold weather)


Then we did a craft (decorating a paper lantern). Here are a few of the decorators.


Then we took some photos...(another post)..which required an alternate outfit, so the birthday cake photos are with the alternate outfit (bummer, but still cute). Yes, I made the cake, it was actually pretty easy.

A Quick Hello

...from the great (but cold) state of SD! We are having fun seeing all the family...but looking forward to some warmer weather. Yesterday was nice (in the 70s). Nana, Aunties Katie & Tosha, Cousin Brooklyn, Megan, DH & I all enjoyed a beautiful day at the zoo yesterday followed by a picnic at the park. Megan's party is today (looking forward to seeing Auntie Jodi & Uncle Keith as well as Cousins Ashley & Brady!), and it's only supposed to be 60. BBBRRRR...cold considering it was a balmy 91 when we left Texas!

So, photos when we return on Wednesday!

Please Pray

...For Kayleigh's family. She was born in June weighing 1 lb. She went to be with the Lord last night. In her 11 months of life, she never came home from the NICU. In fact, they were preparing to bring her home in the next few weeks.

We know the pain of losing a baby. Mother's Day will always hold a special place in their hearts. Pray that God would bring them peace, hope and comfort in the days, weeks and months to come.

Mother's Day fun

Fun, fun, fun!

Megan found these old glasses and has been very interested in them.
(Of course, she won't wear the ones she has!)
Dad finally got a photo last night.

Grandma V & Megan
Oh, and Mr. Lion, who Megan loves to throw out of the rocking chair
and laughs and laughs and laughs!!

Mothers Day morning, Megan found this hat on the chair.
She hates wearing it when she's supposed to, but this morning she wanted to wear it while she had breakfast. So we obliged, and captured it on camera, of course!

Happy Mothers Day!

Here we are this AM after church...in front of Ian's tree

Daddy with his precious daughter

Momma with her baby girl

Little Miss Smarty Pants

I don't know how...but she can identify almost every letter of the alphabet.

She loves to say "yes"...in the most precious voice.

I realized this morning that she grown 9 inches in 13 months. Wow, that's a lot of growth. No wonder everything I have is too small!?

And she's figured out how to stand up in her little rocking chair. Oh crap.

My baby is growing up...sniff, sniff.

Sleep Specialist

Well, we went back to the sleep specialist today for a follow up. We were really torn about whether we should go or just cancel the appointment. We decided that we would go if only to help educate the doctor on trauma in determining sleep recommendations.

It went much better than either of us expected it would. He asked how his recommendations went and we said not well at all. He asked for more details and I shared about our realization that we needed to consider the trauma she had experienced early on in her life. Actually, I think I phrased it as "Are you familiar with trauma and attachment and the impact on sleep?". His face lit up and he said yes, I am. I shared that after 11 days of trying the go to sleep on her own system, we realized that she needed to have the security of me (not so much DH, unfortunately) holding her as she goes to sleep. Since we've changed to a modified version of what we used to do, she's going to sleep after 20-40 minutes of rocking. He was excited that we figured out what was working for her and resolving our sleep issues, for the time being, anyways. He also shared that he felt he learned something today, which he was apparently excited about. He shared that some kids are just stubborn and need to have a "reality check" that mom & dad aren't going to always be at their beck and call, but others need the security of rocking/holding. He encouraged us to continue to respond to what Megan needs right now. He did suggest we watch for when she might be ready that she just might be a little insecure/timid to make the transition to the unknown next step. I've always said that I felt when she moves to a big girl bed (sniff, sniff) will be a good time to begin helping her transition to falling asleep on her own. I don't see that happening though, for at least 6 months, but more like around her 3rd birthday (unless she continues growing so rapidly that she has to move out faster!).

Speaking of growing...she now weighs 27lbs and is 33 inches tall. She's gained about 1/2 pound and grown almost an inch since our last appointment with him! No wonder she's eating so much!!!

We go to her pediatrician tomorrow...I think Megan has something going on with her ears...she's had a low grade fever the last couple of days and she's consistently losing her balance. She is known for tripping and falling, but not simply falling because she's lost her balance. So I want to have it checked out. DH has noticed her digging her ear some, but I hadn't noticed that before, besides she's always done that from time to time.

Letters and Words

Well, Megan now can identify M, W, B, O and X. We don't know where she figured out W, but I taught her M today. If you ask her where the B is...she says "zzzzz".

Oh, and she said "glasses". twice. She now says "yeah" or "yes"...its TOO cute!

She's at grandma V's this morning...I'm off to grade papers.

Need a Megan Fix???

Megan is feeding herself with the spoon now...she's such a big girl!

As evidenced by the floor..eating rice is a bit tough!

Closer look at the floor..
Of course the dogs didn't mind cleaning up!!!

All dressed up for Church..Isn't that cute!?

A new found toy!

This week

Well, since I started rocking Megan to sleep again this week, she's slept A-W-E-S-O-M-E!!! She's asleep within 30 minutes and sleeps almost all night...for 10 hours. She might spend the last hour or so in the rocker with me, but otherwise she is in her bed the entire night! I'm sure part of it is from her being COMPLETELY exhausted, but we are celebrating her sleeping! We are having some behavioral issues (which are completely unusual for her), but they are getting better the more we snuggle and rock.

Have to say if I needed more of a confirmation that we are doing the right thing...this would be it!

p.s. photos in an upcoming post...it's been entirely too long!

So here's the deal...

On Tuesday (when I posted what I did), we had some possible reasons for why Megan needs touching and/or rocking to go to sleep. We know nothing more about her past, just a reminder about it. If you remember, here I discussed Megan's exposure to trauma. And we feel that this trauma is still influencing her sleep. In the research that I've done this week, I've read about many families who are experience sleep issues years after their child is in the safety of their forever home.

Megan has made great strides developmentally and physically which makes it easy to forget about her pre-American life. But, it is part of who she is and it cannot be neglected. You may disagree with me, but honestly things are different. I cannot parent her the same way that I would parent another child with a different background (and I'm not talking Chinese here). That's a fact. One that we are well aware of, even though others tend to forget. Would I like to forget? Yes and no. Yes, because it makes me sad that she hasn't been with us since birth. But, no, because it is part of who she is.

We realized this week that us leaving her to go to sleep on her own in her bed was only feeding into her fears. When I was sitting in the doctors office those weeks ago, I literally started crying when he told me we had to stop rocking and I honestly did not know why I was--other than I knew that was not the answer. But, having discussed things with some other parents this week, I've been able to put words to my feelings. The sleep doctor completely ignored the fact that we are missing information about her beginnings. Honestly, that's a huge piece of the puzzle that is missing--and it's not a few pieces from the edge of the puzzle, but right smack dab in the middle of it. We cannot get an accurate picture without that very large piece. That's what was bothering me in the doctor's office. That's what was bothering me about letting her fall asleep on her own. That's what has been wrong with what we are doing.

I cannot tell you the peace that I felt (well, after I calmed down a little) when we discussed it further. This felt right. For both of us.

So, what we're doing with Megan right now is what Megan needs. All advice on how we're spoiling her or letting her control us or whatever, you can keep to yourself. Unless you've parented an adopted child who has experienced trauma, you are probably don't understand and that's okay.

It's been determined

We are in agreement that we are abandoning the fall asleep on her own process we've tried. We've received some new information today that makes us realize this is much bigger (as I have always thought it was). Once I can go through it all to be able to adequately explain our thinking/findings, I will post an update.

Until then, my heart is literally broken...and I'm overwhelmed with the possibilities for her troubles.

Abilities

this will be a work in progress...but here are some new things Megan has started to do:

• She will put her finger to her mouth and shush. It's too cute!!!
• She says "go, go, go, go"
• She now says mama more often, but still not when asked.
• She knows the colors: blue, red, orange, yellow, brown, pink, purple, green
• She's very interested in letters--especially B, X, O
• She makes a zzzz sound when we ask her the sound a Bee makes.
• She says "x" and "s" (although they sound similar) as well as "o", when we say the letter. However, she has a bowl that has an x and o in it (from valentines day) and she will point to them and say the letter.
• She loves to hold her books facing out then says "aaaahhhh" when she's ready for you to read the page. Too cute.
• She's becoming quite the fashion-esta. Every morning I give her the choice of 2 outfits. Once she picks, she then gets to chose her hair clip as well as her shoes (with 2 to pick from, of course!). On Sunday, she was wearing a yellow outfit with hot pink flowers. So I gave her the choice of gold flip flops or hot pink sandals. She looked at the shoes, looked down at her outfit, looked at the shoe choices again and picked the gold ones. It was too cute!!! Another day I had her in a hot pink jumpsuit with turquiose embroidery. I gave her the choice of hot pink or turquiose hair clips. Again, she looked at what she was wearing and picked the hot pink one. Same with the shoes...picked the hot pink ones. It was pretty cute!
• She is SO kissy! I mean dolly, paci, crayon, book...you name it...she gives it kisses. Randomly, of course. She has started giving us kisses on the lips (and yes, her mouth is closed). So sweet!
  

She continues to surprise me at what she knows, understands and can do!!! Love her to pieces!!!!

Sleep

...is seriously lacking at house. Today is day 11 of this new system. And honestly, things are no different now than they were before we changed it. It's taking her at least an hour to go to sleep every time. Nap time (if she even takes one, which she didn't again on Saturday. Well, she slept for 20 min in the car if that counts) is 5 minutes of rocking to drowsy, put her in bed and she walks and laughs and sits up and talks. We leave the room, she stands up and cries. Sometimes throws her paci and dolly then is mad that she doesn't have either one of them. Hm, wonder why that is? Bed time is worse. I don't usually leave the room at bedtime b/c it makes her not sleep well...meaning on the days I leave the room at nap time, she usually wakes up exactly 40 minutes after she goes to sleep. I can't take that chance with bedtime, so I just sit there--bored out of my mind, wishing, praying and dreaming she would lay still long enough to go to sleep. I rock for about 20 minutes...she's typically a little drowsy (not as drowsy at naptime, though)...then I give her kiss and put her in bed. I'll pat her tummy (and/or back as she rolls to and fro) for a few minutes, then I sit down next to the crib. She stands up, walks around, sits up, lays down, rolls around, crawls around, talks, claps her hands, rubs her eyes, I mean everything and anything. Last night I put my hand in her crib and that seemed to keep her laying down longer, but didn't impact her going to sleep any faster despite being e-x-h-a-u-s-t-e-d. We started rocking at 7pm, she didn't fall asleep until 840. Ridiculous.

Maybe I'm crazy...or maybe I'm wanting to be right (I usually am, you know! lol). But, there is something wrong. By this point in the game, it should be easier. We have NOT rocked her to sleep (well, I did cheat a little yesterday at naptime and she slept 2.5hrs!). She's still waking up during the night. Last night was awake from 3-4am. She finally fell asleep, started crying at 415am. I went in and comforted her (I picked her up b/c she was not stopping by simply patting her), she went right back to sleep when I laid her down. I thought FORSURE she'd sleep until at least 6am (which would have only been 8.3 hrs). Nope. Awake crying again at 5am. Wouldn't go back to sleep. That's not even 7.5 hrs. She was crabby, crying (b/c I was laughing at how cute her "where is" game is! It took her quite a while to stop, too!), fussy--all the behaviors of an overly tired child. I did take her to school today (FOR MY OWN SANITY!). The plan was (and is, I guess) to have her take a nap there. It could go really well--b/c she's so tired--or really badly--where she'll go to bed early and hopefully easily. My problem is that her regular teacher isn't there today (and I thought she was going to be), so that concerns me a bit. But, whatever sleep she gets, she gets. And we'll deal with the behavior when she gets home at 2pm. DH comes home around 4pm, so that's only a few hours of me running solo.

I am a millisecond away from calling the doctor to say, this is NOT working. But, we go back in 10 days and maybe things will change by then. I was thinking while I was sitting in there last night maybe she is waiting for DH to come in and rock her since I've been the one putting her down every time since day 1. My thinking was that I could confidentially tell the doctor that we had kept things the same every night and still no go. But, I think he might try tonight and see if that helps. I don't know...I'm grabbing at straws here, and figure it doesn't hurt to try!

Stuff

Standard look when outside...run, run, run!

Loves being outside!

Things are insanely busy around here...crazy busy....absurd...can I get off the ride now? Anyways...sleep this week...well, she has put herself to sleep all week...but taking AT LEAST 1 hr every time (including naps). Not going to sleep until 845 almost every night...still up at 5am. Not typically waking up during the night, and if she does, it looks similar to what I posted before. She's averaging 8-8.5 hrs of sleep a night with 1.5-2hr naps...that means LOTS of fits, temper tantrums, frustration, etc. at our house because she is so tired.

She is such a soft hearted girl....if she thinks it is REMOTELY possible that you are laughing at her, she will burst into tears. It happens a lot more when she is tired..and especially if someone besides DH or I are there and laughing. She still does it for us (like this morning at 530!), but it doesn't happen as much.

We're taking her 2 year photos today...probably taking more this week with her traditional Chinese dress...errands to run, student needs to meet (and soon major projects to grade), house to clean, laundry to do, bags to pack, b-day party to plan/prepare for, dog sitter to meet...all before we leave on May 13. Oh boy. My stress level is over the top.

On a side note....a friend of a friend told me about this huge warehouse sale for a local vendor of kids table & chairs, play kitchens, etc. Everything is dirt cheap...seriously...I got this table & 4 chairs for $15 for the table...$2 a chair. They were selling play kitchens for $40. Can't beat those prices! They are new...has a few scruffs, but nothing serious. Yet another "birthday present" for our Sweets (and I need to stop shopping)!

First sentence

Just spoken...

And it is...

"where is Irish?"

How appropriate....

Drapes

(Sleep update post below)

I made Megan light blocking drapes this weekend. They honestly were easy. It was more a matter of finding the floor space to lay it all out, sew the sides together, turn right sides out, finish off the top. I made the valances she had in her room, but they were super simple. This was a bit more difficult since they are lined, but really not that bad. I could see in my head what I needed to do...and was confident I could do it. Mrs. Hemple (my high school home ec teacher) would have been proud!

Pin right sides together...

Sewing the 2 right sides together on 3 sides
(leaving the top open to flip it right side out)

Making the seam look finished

Ironing the seam flat

the finished product!

I'm very happy with them...And I've made my seamstress mom proud, too (I think!). I even had my wits about me to make sure the pattern was going the same direction! I actually was impressed with myself that I thought to check! And I would have been SO MAD had I not done it "right". I did break 2 needles...and thank goodness Grandma V saved the day and gave me some more so I could get them done Sunday morning....otherwise I would have had to finish them up today while Megan was at school. And wouldn't you know it...I didn't break ONE NEEDLE on the 2nd one. Go figure!

Aunt Katie is happy that Megan's room finally is "girly"...I was wishing I could get the fabric with the yellow background, but they did not have enough in the store. I had Megan with me, so I had to make quick decisions (that's not usually like me when it comes to fabric). Besides, the store I went to did not have a whole lot of kid prints that would work in her room, so it made the choices easy. I got the material here. If you are looking for high quality fabric at a reasonable price, you should check them out. I paid less than the cost of one room darkening blind for the material...and I have over a yard left over. But go in with an idea of what you want...because they have oodles and oodles of options. It's almost overwhelming! Many of the area's interior designers go here...that should tell you something!

Weekend Changes

Well, we did it. Megan was up at 3:30 on Friday morning, so I just decided to go ahead and start the "no rocking to sleep" thing since I wasn't even sure she would fall asleep in the rocker anyways. Friday nap went fine, I told her when we sat in the rocker that we would rock for a little bit then she'd sleep in her bed. I rocked until she was drowsy (like 2 minutes!), laid her in her bed. She opened her eyes and looked at me, then rolled over and was out...when she woke up fussing, I simply gave her a kiss, told her it was still sleepy time and laid her back down. She woke up I think 2 times that afternoon, but went right back to sleep both times and slept for over 2 hrs. YEAH! But I wasn't worried about nap time!

Friday night, we started bedtime around 730. She wasn't really that crabby and was playing so we just waited a little while. We did our usual bedtime routine, then we told her that since she as going to go to sleep in her bed like a big girl and that she could sleep with dolly. (We've not let her sleep dolly for several months b/c if she woke up during the night she just wanted to play with dolly!) So, we rocked for a few minutes (this was my mistake, I should have rocked for at least 10-15) then I put her in her bed. I sat next to the bed and shushed until she went to sleep. She sat up and walked around in her bed. I only laid her back down the first time she sat up or if she touched me (only a few times). Otherwise, I completely ignored her, had my eyes closed (but peeking!) and shushed. It took almost 90 minutes, and she was asleep. I honestly didn't think that was too bad!!! I don't think she woke up during the night...or if she did it, a little shushing is all she needed and she was out. I think she woke up at 430 or something like that. I did shush her for a little while, when it was clear she wasn't going to sleep, I told her I was going to go to sleep. She could either sleep in her bed or play in her bed, but it was still sleepy time and left the room. She cried...I waited for her to take a break from crying and I went in and sang our "good morning" song (which she dances to).

Saturday nap went fine again. No problems. She slept 2.5 hrs without a peep the entire time. Saturday night, we did the same thing, told her she was going to go to sleep in her bed like a big girl...she got to sleep with dolly b/c she's a big girl...I rocked for about 15 minutes--she was getting quite comfortable and close to being asleep. I got up and put her in bed...she immediately jumped up...it took 2 hrs before she completely crashed. Starting at 130, she was crying in her sleep off and on...at 230, she was beginning to get up on her knees (she was crying) as I entered her room, but then dropped right back down and was asleep. So she must have been having bad dreams, I don't know, because she was NOT awake. She woke up at 5am. I did the same morning thing I did before.

Sunday nap was a nightmare. Seriously. I rocked for a few minutes, she was almost asleep, I put her down, she rolled over and immediately sat up. I thought, oh crap, on the day I have to leave in 30 minutes (and I wasn't ready to go, yet), she decided to do this. So, after 10 minutes of me being in there...I got DH and he took over (he had not been doing any of the new sleep routine b/c it just wouldn't work). Well, after 90 minutes of trying...he gave up. (I would have too!) And, honestly, I was so glad to not be home that afternoon!!! She survived (barely) until 6pm when we went ahead and finished our bedtime routine. I rocked and she was asleep in less than a minute. Heck, she was almost sleep while she was drinking her milk! Didn't hear a peep from her until 220. Then she was trying and trying and trying to go back to sleep. Finally at about 330 I picked her up and snuggled with her for a few minutes. I laid her back down, then she realized dolly was in her bed (she hadn't even noticed we put her in there after she went to sleep). She grabbed dolly, snuggled with her and drifted off to sleep at 4am. She slept until 625am! Oh my gosh! I couldn't believe it! I immediately went in singing our Good Morning song. Of course her getting up "so late" (lol) meant our morning routine was shot to heck b/c she had school today. Oh well, we worked it out...and she got to school on time.

We'll see how nap time goes today...I am going to make some adjustments. I made her light blocking drapes (photos in another post) and I think the fact that her room on Sunday was SO DARK at nap time was disturbing to her. Today I'm going to leave one cracked open until she's asleep, then close it. We'll see. She's probably going to be pretty tired from school today, so that should help.

Growing up..oh, and sleep update

Megan is growing up so much! Let's see the newest things she's up to:

• She weighs 26.5lbs (12.2 kgs--she weighed 6.2 when we got referral!) and is 32 inches tall.
  
• She's interested in letters, colors and symbols on our shirts.
• She loves to help unload the dishwasher.
• She's gotten so tall she can reach up to the counter and pull things off. The bathroom counter is especially difficult to keep things out of her reach!
  
• She loves to say (and play) "where is?" (as in...where is dolly, who is hiding behind my back?). She plays it with everything...including food at the table.
  
• She's now eating with silverware, from plates and bowls and hasn't been throwing the plates, bowls or silverware on the floor
  
• She's drinking from a cup (kind of), but still won't drink from a straw, but loves to chew on them!
• She's talking more...I mean, babbling more. Her favorites right now are "bah-bah-bah" followed closely by "whoa-whoa-whoa" and "es-yah" (don't know).
  
• She's mimicking us a lot, which is fun--in a good way.
• She's loves to stomp her feet and then expects you to do it too.
• She loves to play with her scooter--which means she loves to push it around. When she wants it to turn, she's picks it up and slams it down moving it to the right and left until she gets it going into the direction she wants it to go in. It really is funny!
• You never know where you might find her rocking horse in the house. She pushes it all over...it's been known to be my bedroom closet, the bathroom, the kitchen, her bedroom or the office. It's always a surprise!
• She's really gotten into coloring, drawing and writing. Whenever we color, she digs in the color box until she finds a red color...and refuses to try any other one. She can draw and flip through her color book (and scribble on random pages) for literally 45 minutes. It's actually kind of nice!
  

I know there are so many more things she is doing now, I just can't think of them.

Sleep update
We met with the sleep specialist yesterday. He asked a lot of questions...I likely did not answer them in a very organized fashion. Thank goodness I had my wits about me and took some things for Megan to do...not nearly enough, though. Seriously...we were at a CHILDREN's hospital...meeting with a PEDIATRIC doctor...and there was NOT ONE indication in the room that children were welcome there. I had brought a few of Megan's favorite small toys, but since we were in there an hour, she got bored very quickly. She only had an hour nap (never good) and she could have slept much longer, but the day just did not go like it was "supposed" to. Oh well, she survived.

So, what did he say? Well, he wants us to start by not rocking her to sleep. We can still rock her to drowsy, but not to sleep. He does NOT want us to withhold comfort to her (aka cry it out) and he has no problem with us being in the room while she goes to sleep (if she needs it), just not rocking. He commented that like so many adults who need the radio on, the tv on or some other 'thing' to help them fall asleep, he believes Megan needs rocking. So, starting Friday night (oh joy!) we are going to begin the transition. I fully expect a couple of really long bedtimes...but the nights should be fine. Most nights lately, we have not needed to rock her during the night. Well, I haven't. DH & I are spliting the nights and he tends to rock more often than I do...I usually try to shush for at least 15 minutes before resorting to rocking. Usually, that works, but not always.

I am not sure how I feel about the direction we are going here. I've been saying for the last several weeks that I felt like Megan was wanting a change in bedtime...but I wasn't sure what that was...so we'll see how it works. Will I love being able to rock for 10 or 15 minutes, then put her in her bed to go to sleep?! Um, YEAH! And I love I don't have to give up the rocking part. The other part of this is that we have another appointment May 6th with him to see how it has worked and if she is still waking up for hours at night. He has also tentative scheduled a sleep study for that night in the event we need it. So, I feel like we haven't been given the "one solution" and sent on our way. That's encouraging. He did say she has a slight obstruction to her airway, but he's not ready to schedule surgery. It could be from her being congested, so hopefully in a month when we go back, that will be cleared up. I still believe she could have sleep apnea, but we'll see how this transition goes...and what happens next month.

As for me...I feel stress just thinking about what all needs to be done in the next month before we got back to SD and this just adds one more thing. Of course, if it means I'll get more sleep, I'm all for that!

Easter

Pretty dress...

Don't even ask me why I chose that dress for Easter.
I hate that dress...and really realized it when I got to church.
Consequently, after getting washed, it's going in the giveaway pile.

Megan had a gorgeous Easter dress...that wasn't exactly the plan...but she's grown so much that I decided Easter was a good opportunity to wear the dress she was SUPPOSED to wear to Uncle Collin's wedding in August. She's also going to wear the dress for her 2 year pictures. She got lots of compliments at church. We've not been to church this year (I know, horrible!), but between me being sick, Megan being sick, being out of town, Megan not sleeping...we've just not made it. So, I was interested in seeing how Megan would do in the nursery. Just like when she goes to school, I told her she would play with the other kids and we'd be back later to get her. One of the teachers remembered her from the last time we were there...when we came to get her, she said she did awesome. She did NOT have her paci or her blankey, so I guess she must have done fine!

We had a very busy Easter weekend. I was supposed to grade papers...but between running a whole bunch of errands on Saturday morning while DH worked to the impromptu Easter party Megan & I attended at the neighbor's on Saturday afternoon, the weekend zoomed past and I got only one paper graded. Oh well, I'll be busy while Megan is at school today.

Speaking of school, she is going today...through lunch, then I'll pick her up, change her clothes and we'll leave for our Pediatric sleep specialist appointment (FINALLY!). I'm leaving about 45 minutes (or maybe more) earlier than I need to...but since it's right in the middle of nap time, I figure I'll just drive around a little so she can sleep. And if I'm lucky, she'll sleep in the car when we get there and I won't have to drive too much extra...and can simply park. That's what I'm hoping, actually. I'll post more on it when we get back.

5 Years...

One of my favorite photos of Ian

It's really hard to believe that it's been 5 years already. This morning I was reflecting on that morning...how I couldn't believe it was morning and still no baby...how absolutely exhausted I was after having a bad week of sleep leading up to the climatic weekend, with almost no sleep on Fri the 9th or Sat the 10th...and it was Easter weekend, then too. DH's brother and family were visiting for Easter...and how sad they were they had to leave before he was born...how our nephew refused to leave until he saw his new cousin (his parents won out and they left about 7 hrs before he was born).

Today we plan on marking his birthday by releasing balloons as we do every year. I believe we'll release 7...one for each day he was with us.

It's amazing to think that if Ian was still with us, we most likely would not have Megan...but we'd be thinking about kindergarten in the fall. oh wow, now we're simply looking forward to sleeping through the night!

Speaking of which...our pediatric sleep specialist appointment is Monday. Oh, how we've been looking forward to that day!

Bluebonnets & Bubbles

Okay, so I uploaded these photos in the wrong order...but they are still fun!

Today we found a bluebonnet patch and decided it was a beautiful day to take photos. This morning was a little overcast and perfect for photos, but it was also a bit chilly and windy, so we decided to wait until this afternoon. It was entirely too bright, but really warm. We've been in Texas for 11 years and have NEVER taken photos in the bluebonnets before. We've seen the beautiful patches, but never stopped to take photos. I honestly had no idea they were so fragrant! Such a wonderful fragrance, too!

After the bluebonnets, we came home and played in the yard...Megan had so much fun running in the "grass" (one of her favorite words to say, but it always makes me think of Meet the Fockers--she doesn't pronounce the "gr"! We won't be teaching her "ole" any time soon! lol) that we broke out the bubbles and had even more fun!

Bubbles are fun!

Mommy & Megan in the backyard

Daddy & Megan in the flowers

Megan exploring the flowers

What a face...the usual one for the camera!

Sleep and all that...

Sleep has been bad since we got back from SD. Actually, it wasn't great there, but it's gotten worse since we got home. She's been averaging being awake at least 1.5 hrs a night. Whether that's being awake until 10pm or awake from 130-330am, she is getting about 7-8 hours of sleep a night. Not good when she needs AT LEAST 9.5. That means LOTS of fits, whining, fussing, throwing herself down on the ground and crying. Oh, and did I say lots of fits? Yep, lots of fits and throwing herself down. April 13th can not...let me repeat...CANNOT come soon enough! whew.

Words...Megan has seemed to find several words or rather sounds lately. This past week she started saying "whoa" (stretching out the "oooaaa", of course!). Today she started saying "bah-bah-bah-bah". She also likes to play "where is..." game. What's that game? Well, she hides something behind her back and she makes the sound of "where" (without actually saying where). Our job is then to say "where is...? I don't see it." She loves to play it with dolly. It's so funny!

Our trip..Megan did really good in the car, but honestly, I don't look forward to making that trip again in just a few short weeks. It made the goodbyes easy when we left on Sunday, but the trip is so darn long...so.darn.long. I swear we arrived tired (we left at noon and arrived at 2am), didn't get much sleep there and came back tired (we got home at midnight, then Megan was up at 230). I honestly would like nothing more than to lay on the couch all day with nothing to do and sleep. But, we all know that's not possible! Oh well. One day I'll not feel tired. Not sure when, but I'm hoping its soon!!!!

Bento's give-away

Never heard of Bentos? Check out Maisie Eats Bento! Right now she is giving away a great kit to get started.

Last Year on this day...

Megan was handed over to us! March 31st...at around 10:20am.

2008

2009

Wow how things change! (things other than my hair! haha)

We're back.

A few photos from our trip. It was fast and exhausting, but good. We didn't get much sleep, but had a great time with family. It was the first time all of my cousins (minus 1) were together in I don't know how many years.

Here's a few photos. Maybe more later...we took lots!

A tired Megan & Daddy at Nana's

Brooklyn, Ashley, Megan and Brady
(we did NOT purposefully coordinate the outfit colors! We're good!)

And we wonder why Megan doesn't like group photos! lol.

It's been a Year

Last year on March 25th we were getting on the plane to go to China! Wow, have things changed in the last year. You can see our first post from China here.

The clothes I'm buying Megan now days (okay, well, shirts) are toddler size. I thought it would be forever before we started buying that size, since she started out so small (size 3-6 mo). She's just changed and grown up so much. Its hard to believe that she's come so far in such a short period of time.

Just a few more days and Megan will have been with us a year. Wow has time flown!

Farewell, Grandma

This picture was taken in August when we last saw Grandma. When Megan & I were back in SD for Christmas, I got a stomach virus the day we were going to go see her and we left just a day later. So, we didn't get to see her.

Grandma passed away Monday night. She celebrated her 91st birthday earlier this month. We are leaving today for the funeral which will be on Saturday. Uncle Collin is driving to our house today, then we're all leaving together around 5pm. Pray Megan is able to fall asleep in the car and sleep well tonight since we're driving all night.

Such a big girl!

Such a big girl...

HEY, it went down my shirt!

A cute outfit from this weekend...
it's a dress, but not quite warm enough for dresses yet.
I don't know why she doesn't look happy...probably tired

Pics

A few photos from this week:

My sick baby girl

Okay, not her most flattering pose, but look at her hair!
YES! Those are pigtails~!

Paci cause we're sick.

Sickness Update

Megan is feeling better...but still has periods of clingy-ness. I am taking advantage of her wanting to snuggle, believe me. When she does run a fever, it's low. Her nose is running like crazy and she is coughing quite a bit. She went to sleep last night about 6:15pm, but then woke herself up coughing several times between then and 7:30pm. The beginning of the night wasn't too bad, apparently, but she was awake from 1230-220am. ugh. But, then she slept until almost 530. I think she fell asleep only because I told her it was still night time and she could either sleep with mommy or in her bed. When I asked where she wanted to sleep, in her bed? She shook her head "no", then I asked if she wanted to sleep with mommy and she rocked her fist "yes" (the ASL sign for yes). So, we started rocking (again) and she fell asleep almost immediately. We both slept in the rocking chair for about an hour, then she woke up and pointed to her bed. Surprisingly, I was cognizant enough to put her in her bed right then..she rolled over and conked right out. She fussed again at 430, I patted her back and she went back out again and woke up around 530.

She's loved having her paci almost all day (she better enjoy it while she can...cause it won't be that way when she's well!).

Oh boy

After a very long day....after a very long night...a couple of conversations with the pediatrician, it was decided Megan likely has the flu. So then we had the choice of waiting until morning and going into her office or going to an acute care center. The choice was given to us at 4pm today...we opted to go with the acute care center. Since they close at 5pm, we literally flew up to the closest one and didn't leave there until after 6pm. If it hadn't been for the pediatrician suggesting the flu before we went in there, we would have only gotten a stronger med for a potential ear infection. When I asked the doc if she thought she had the flu since the pediatrician had suggested it, she said she didn't think so, but we could run the tests to be sure.

Well, she does have the flu. Since we left the clinic after most pharmacies were closed, we had to drive an extra 15 minutes (away from home) to find the closest 24 hr pharmacy. They were SO BUSY that it took 45 minutes to pick it up. Megan was such a trooper...it was after 730pm before we got home. She didn't fall asleep in the car and needed to have supper, medicine and formula (which she wouldn't drink) before she did. She ate a little, drank nothing--unfortunately--and fell asleep immediately. Hopefully she doesn't cough herself awake all night long. We all need a good night's rest.

photos & video

A few photos from this week...

My little helper...and beginning to not feel well

Here's short clip of the princess dancing. She even was dancing at school this week during music time! Speaking of school, she's been doing really well...loves to see her teacher...yells "HI" as soon as she sees her and doesn't cry when I leave. I've been picking her up between 11am-11:45am depending on what time she wakes up that morning and how tired she is. We are still getting up in the 4 o'clock hour--we had hoped that the time change would help her sleep until 5am, but that hasn't helped.

Sick baby girl

We made it through the week of my class. Thank goodness Megan had pretty good nights most of the week. Both parents got adequate sleep, not enough by any stretch of the imagination, but enough to function. Friday night was "really good" DH said (he took all night since I had class all day on Saturday)--she only woke up 3 times. I laughed and said, yes, for US that is a good night, but that most parents complain their child wakes up that many times during the night! How sad is that???

When I got home from class (around 3pm), Megan had a serious fever. DH noticed she was really clingy and hot, but didn't realize she had a fever. I'm guessing (based on his descriptions) that it started around lunchtime...and only got worse after nap. When I took her temp--with an ear thermometer, which aren't always very accurate--it was between 101.7 and 102.1. Funny thing, while she was clingy and hot, she really was in good spirits. Consequently, last night wasn't so good, even with regular ibuprofen and tynelol. I think she has a sore throat based on the face she sometimes makes when she swallows. And she's been drinking her juice flavored water really cold. She's drank quite a bit this morning (yeah! since she's typically not very good at drinking). Her voice is also really froggy/horse and she has a "rough" cough. I'm thinking it's got to be a virus because she's just finished being on meds for almost 2 weeks (she was only supposed to be on for 10 days--there was lots of medicine--and I lost track of how long she'd been on it!)

Hopefully she's feeling better soon! (pics later)

Sleep

Could this be Megan's problem? Sleep Apnea? I think it might be. The description pretty much describes what a typical night looks like for us: restless sleep, frequent wake ups, stops breathing for periods of time longer than 10 seconds, overtired child which causes frustration, irritability and behavior problems (at our house it's hitting, which she does when she's tired--oh, wait, that's ALL the time!). I really noticed the breathing this morning.

She was awake at 10:30, 12:50, 1:50, 2:50 (we rocked that time...I fell asleep in the rocker), 4:10 then "for the day" at 4:45 despite still being tired and not hardly able to keep her eyes open. She didn't go to sleep until after 8pm either. That's less than 9 hours last night. ugh.

Treatment for sleep apnea in toddlers is a CPAP machine (if the problem is blockage), if the problem is the brain failing to send the breathing signal, CPAP machine doesn't work so I'm not sure what the treatment is for that.

Counting down the weeks until we see the sleep specialist. Only 5 weeks!

Sheer Silliness

Megan is VERY into her tongue lately. She loves to stick it out (not quite this much, though) and she's even gotten into touching it. Tonight (oops, she's in her pjs again!) she was sitting with me in the chair and being silly with her tongue. I asked her to stick it out so I could take a picture....this is one of the silly ones I got!


And just to prove I don't always just take her pictures when she's in her pjs...here she is on Friday. Both the shirt (former dress) and pants were from last year . I was hoping the pants would be more like capris...but alas, they are more like ankle length (aka high waters if you ask me!) or long capris. But, believe it or not, they fit perfectly around the waist--they are size 9mo.

Megan's Sleep...

This morning I've been doing some internet "research" to determine what's out there that describes Megan's sleep pattern. I found this question that pretty much describes what we deal with regularly. Dr. Greene's response is to contact a sleep specialist to determine what the underlying reasons are for their waking up at night. Done that.

I've considered melatonin. I was seriously considering it this morning at 3am when she was still awake after being awake for an hour (25 minutes in her bed, 35 min in the rocker), then woke up when I laid her in her crib (she laid there for 5 minutes rolling around, until I finally just picked her back up and rocked her again). But, in the research I've done this morning, I'm not sure melatonin would work. She doesn't really have a problem falling asleep, it's staying asleep that's the problem. Besides, most of what I've found does not recommend melatonin for kids--there has been very little research on the potential long term effects. There have been a few studies done on kids with brain issues as they do not produce adequate amounts of melatonin. So, I'm not sure.

I just have to wonder if she is processing subconsciously. It's been a year since referral...it's almost been a year since Megan was placed with us. So, could there be some processing going on in her little mind? I don't know, but I do wonder.

as promised...

Okay, so the plan with this photo was to include one of her wearing this as a dress (as it's supposed to be) last year. Do you think I could find one? Heck, no. At any rate, this is a dress she wore last year, which will be a shirt this year. Boy has she grown.

I did notice that I have taken A LOT of photos of her in her pjs. Guess we need to change that!

But, in keeping with the tradition...here is Uncle Collin with Meggie on his visit this weekend.

Various Updates...

Sleep update: DH & I have been splitting the nights. He takes until midnight, I take from then on. Man do I feel like a different person even if I only get 3 consecutive hours of sleep then hit or miss from midnight on. DH is having a much harder time functioning on much less sleep than usual. It just stinks in that I NEVER see DH. Seriously. He's been working late and getting home right about supper time. I put dishes away while he gets Megan ready for bed, then puts her down around 6-610pm. That's earlier than usual, but it seems like no matter what time she goes down, she's up at 4, so she might as well go down earlier. Besides, she is tired anyways. She has absolutely refused morning naps...no matter what. She can literally be dead tired, but she will NOT go down.

I emailed a friend who is a pharmacist to ask if there were any sleep meds approved for kids. She said no, so I'm not sure what the specialist is going to tell us. I guess problem not give us a solution that will work immediately. Last night I'm quite sure she was having bad dreams--the point that she almost had her eyes open. And she did some sort of running/walking in the circle in her bed last night DH said. He said it was actually kind of funny. I don't know what that was about, but she went back to sleep almost immediately, so she likely wasn't even awake. That was right before I took over, and then she woke up when I took over. I had to rock her--she was awake for about 45 minutes. ***I should clarify, here. She was awake about 25 minutes in her bed rolling around trying to fall back to sleep. In fact, her breathing sounded like she was asleep, but her eyes were wide open. It was only then that I decided to go ahead and rock her. Otherwise, when she wakes up, we always try to wait to see what she's going to do. Sometimes we just shush her, she's rolls over and goes back to sleep. Sometimes she just goes back to sleep without us doing anything. It just depends.

She has sinus infection which has impacted her ability to breath and thus sleep. Hopefully, once she over this she'll be sleeping better and I can take the nights by myself. Although next week, I'm teaching a mini term. We have class the next 2 Saturdays from 8am-5pm and every night next week from 5pm-10pm. I'm not sure how the overnights are going to work since we both need our sleep. There's no way that I can last from midnight to 10pm. While I love teaching, I'm an introvert and it is SO EXHAUSTING. Seriously wipes me out. This is the first mini I've taught since we brought Megan home, so it should be interesting how it all works out.

Dissertation update: I have a plan, I have guidance, I have data. So, now it's simply finding time to research and write. Oh, and I am applying for a $3000 grant. Hopefully, I'll get it which can help with costs for this stupid thing. I still need to email my chairperson to tell him what's going on. Don't know where I'd be without my boss (is she still my boss if I'm on hiatus?). Anyways. She's awesome.

Photos later.