Trauma

I have not gone into any discussion on why Megan could be having the bad nights that she does up to this point. I guess I have said that she is a "night processor", but otherwise, I have remained quiet. I feel like now is an excellent time to share what I believe is likely impacting Megan's sleep issues: trauma. No, she likely wasn't abused or neglected. She wasn't in a car accident. Here is an excellent website that discusses trauma in adopted children for those of you interested. Essentially, trauma is experiencing loss. And Megan has experienced loss: loss of her birth parents, loss of the familiar at the orphanage (to name just a few). While many people want to simply overlook the fact that she has experienced these losses, it doesn't change the fact that she has experienced these losses. (In fact, she's experienced more losses more than some people ever experience in their adult life and she experienced it all by 11 months.)

Earlier this week, Megan's night started out bad. What's bad? Well, we can tell what kind of night it's going to be simply by how the 10 o'clock hour goes. That night, she would doze off to sleep in my arms, then wake herself up, fuss and we'd start the process over again. It went on for an hour. Finally, at about 11:30pm, she fell asleep and I was pretty certain she was very asleep, but I wasn't sure what do with her. Did I put her in her crib and risk her waking up the minute her legs hit the sheet? Or just bring her to bed with me? As I was standing over her crib praying for an answer, she woke up, looked at me, didn't make a peep but fell back to sleep. I knew my answer and promptly brought her to bed with me. I had just gotten her situated (snuggling close to me) and she began what I can imagine were bad dreams. She whimpered and began gasping like a child who had been crying hard for a long time and they were trying to calm themselves down. It was absolutely heartbreaking. I was almost in tears. It went on for I think was about 15 minutes or so. Then she calmed right down. She did look at me a few times, (and I thought, oh crap, now she's awake again) but she's just roll over and go back to sleep. I'm confident she was processing something. I believe it was some of the trauma she's experienced because it had been a very quiet few days at our house--we'd stuck around the house. She slept with me for about 3 hours, then it took about an hour to get her back to sleep, but then she slept for a couple of hours.

So...if you are wondering...since I posted about our good nights of rest...we've not had good nights at all. The last several nights have not been good. Last night Dad was on "duty" and he said she was very restless, whimpered quite a bit and lost her paci several times. That means a short night for Dad, but he did wake me up a little before 4am to trade off. She never did go back to sleep. I worked on it for 45 minutes, and she slept for only 5 (yes, minutes). Nothing is more frustrating than that! UGH!

I pray she processes her losses soon so that we can have a "normal" sleep life at our house!!!

My Secret Blog Pal

I've done Secret Pal with various church groups, but this is the first time I've done it via blog! Well, I received my first "item" in the mail yesterday. A beautiful homemade card with a lovely note. Very sweet!

So, my bloggie friend...whoever you are...THANK YOU! (I'm not crafty...likely by choice...I could probably be crafty, just do NOT have the patience--or time, for that matter--for it.) It's always fun to see what people create!

Could it be?

As I've posted here SO MANY TIMES, Megan has had sleep issues. She has never slept longer than 3 consecutive hours...oh, wait, I think she did when we were in China she would nap in the Bjorn that long and when we were on the flight home she slept quite a long time. Anyways, that was true until the last two nights. I'm NOT kidding! Wednesday night she slept from about 7pm to 11pm...needed a little comfort/confirmation that mom was still there, but went back to sleep. I would hear her whimper a few times at various points, but slept until about 4:30am. I left her in her bed as she simply talked and rolled around, but a little before 5am, she started to cry. So, I went in and got her. I sat in the rocking chair with her for a little bit, but it was pretty clear that she was awake for the day. Yeah, Megan! Oh, but was it a fluke?

Well, last night she went to sleep before 7pm, cried out a bit at 10pm, needed her paci at about 11pm, but then I pretty much heard NOTHING from her the rest of the night! But, she was awake at 4am and wouldn't go back to sleep. Two nights in a row, fluke? PLEASE tell me we're past the horrible nights...or at least where they are infrequent. PLEASE!

So, what have we done differently? Well, the only things I can think of are: 1. we were consistent about beginning to rock her sleep right around 6:30pm and 2. she's eaten a big and "late" supper both nights. Since she's decided to fully feed herself, she's been having meat. I mean we've given her meat in the past, but most of the time we'd have to go on a "fishing" expedition 30-45 minutes after eating because it was still in her mouth (those cheeks are good for something!). Well, she's been handling it fine now. She loves roast beef lunch meat (she is her daddy's girl!). She also loves green beans, but not so fond of carrots (when it used to be her favorite baby food). So between having a "heavy" supper and going to be early, something is working! I think another experience had an impact as well, but more on that later.

I feel almost human...after a fairly good night's rest two nights in a row...oh my, I could used to this VERY quickly! Now, if we can get bedtime moved to about 7:30 so we can sleep until 5:30ish, things would be good!

Explosion of Talent

Well, okay, maybe not talent, but abilities! During the past week, she has decided to perfect:

• use of the sippy cup (handles or not)
• feeding herself (and she can SHOVEL it in, with her left hand. The right hand's fine motor skills aren't as good.)
• eating table food (in fact, she only eats baby food now simply because I have some homemade servings I want to use up)
  
• standing alone (she will randomly let go of me, the table, couch or whatever she is holding on to)
• walking along things (her LeapFrog table, couch, etc.)
• signing just about every sign on her Signing Time Vol. 1 DVD (Dad being the most recent...so all day long she says "dada dada dada" and now she signs it too! Man, that really stinks for Mom! I'm about ready to go on strike...um, about that...)
• shutting doors (she's always loves to move them open, shut, but today she accidentally shut herself in her room and couldn't get out! Mom came to the rescue--to find her banging on the door and yelling as if saying, "hey, wait a minute, let me out, I didn't mean to do that!")
  
• oh, and let's not forget the temper tantrum (such a surprise coming from such a spicy, sassy girl, I know!)
  

My little baby is growing up!!!! I just said to DH tonight at supper that it's exciting she's growing up, but it's sad that my baby is no longer a baby. Now, if only we could perfect the sleeping through the night thing. Man, I will DEFINITELY be glad when that happens! Sleeping is getting better overall, but we are definitely still have really bad nights. (What is a really bad night? Let's see...mom or dad seeing every hour on the clock.) Currently, we are working on eliminating the nighttime bottle. But then, if we're up with her anyways, what's the difference, uh? Then next on the schedule will be sleeping past 5am. (Of course this morning she was awake BEFORE 5am...so maybe making it TO 5am SHOULD be achieved first! haha)

So there you have it...my baby has made serious advancements into toddler-hood over the past few days!

I Hate Enterprise

We drove on our last trip to South Dakota. Since the drive is so long, we've rented a car the last couple of times we've driven. My sister works for Enterprise, so naturally, we've selected them to rent a car from. Yes, we do get a family member discount, which plays into our decision to select them. However, DH works for a large, national corporation that has partners with various businesses to provide serious discounts to their employees. Consequently, we could utilize that benefit as well. So, to my vent.

Reading Wendy's experience with Advantage, inspired me to write about my most recent frustration (which is yet to be resolved) with Enterprise. Basically, their staff are complete jerks (okay at least in the state of Texas!) and their managers are even worse. This is the first time I've been accused of being unethical when I'm the customer and am telling the truth. My request is simply that they hold themselves to their signed contract/rental agreement. I don't think that's too much to ask. And I certainly don't think it's unethical to hold that expectation.

Anyways...I surely hope this is solved this week. I got the final document I requested from them today to prove what I've been saying "unethically" all along, so if it's not resolved by the Regional Manager, I'll let the credit card company deal with it. I'm truly done. I'm simply tired of dealing with it every few days over the past almost 3 weeks. ugh.

Few fun photos

Meggie & Mommy...self-portrait

WHEW! Scary hair...
actually, you can see how it's getting so long

Party girl!
Taken at EJ's birthday party
Can't believe she's actually smiling for the camera.

15 months old

Not the best centered photo, but the expression is adorable!

(It actually was yesterday, but...)

We went for a check up yesterday and Megan weighs over 20 lbs! And she's now 29 inches! That means she's gained over a pound and grown over an inch in 2 months! WOOHOO, Megan! There have been several skills that she has not done (whether it's chooses not to or can't--the verdict is still out). She's apparently had a great burst in abilities this week...And she decided this week to show off her talents!

• She is now holding a sippy cup (and attempting to drink, but it's a bit heavy). YIPPEE!
• She can also hold her bottle (but doesn't hold it to drink out of it, go figure)
  
• She also decided to put cheerios in her mouth as well!
  
• AND she's now standing by herself! Yeah, Megan!

It's been a busy week at our house...I swear we see more and more changes EVERY DAY!

Some of our Favorite Things

Megan now loves to pull into a standing position EVERYWHERE, for no reason, just because she can. At least in this photo, she's at the window looking out (actually, I think she's playing with the blinds), but frequently, she's just standing against the blank wall. Crazy girl. It is funny, though when she pulls up to stand at her LeapFrog table, then gets down and crawls to the other side to again stand up. She'll figure it out, soon enough.

Remember a few posts ago she climbed under the table? Well, she did it at Nana's too! She found this side table provided a good short cut to the kitchen. It was a regular path she took while we were there.

She's also found a secret passageway in our living room as well...between the chairs and also behind the chairs! She took both of them yesterday, frequently. I have the feeling this little squirt is going to be good at hiding (and she's always quiet too!).

She also loves paper...notebook paper, napkins, tissues...any type of paper really. And she loves to shred it. It was provided a great time in the car several times on the trip! Thankfully, she doesn't eat it, just shreds it into tiny pieces and simply drops it! If she can't shred it, she'll simply crumple it all up.

Road Trip

Finally! A photo of her TRUE smile!

(Obtained by playing hide-n-seek which is her favorite game right now)

We returned early Friday morning (3 am) from our road trip to visit family in SD. It was fun, but the LONG drive is absolutely exhausting. I'm not looking forward to making it anytime soon! (Megan & I are flying up at Christmas time.) Of course, once Megan is a bit older we'll take a DVD player and it will hopefully keep her occupied for a good portion of the trip!

The trip included:

Our first haircut (given by Nana Lin)

And playtime with all her cousins!

Brooklyn

Brady & Ashley

Makayla & Ryley

It was a very quick trip (well, not really, but it felt that way!!!)