Gratitude

So I've started reading a new book. The author came highly recommended by various friends, and although none of them had heard of this particular one by the author, I knew by the title I needed to read it. It's Ruthless Trust by Brennan Manning. I've not gotten very far into the book, but there are so many challenges and enlightenments I cannot even process them all. If you are looking for a good book, I highly suggest this one.

Here's an example of one of the things that moved me this morning as I was reading. In this specific section he is talking about gratitude. He says "To walk in gratitude is a way of living that is inclusive, attentive, contagious, and theocentric" (p. 30). Each of these have excellent points. But in the 'gratitude is inclusive' he quoted something I just had to share. Henri Nouwen has written on the spiritual work of gratitude...

"To be grateful for the good things that happen in our lives is easy, but to be grateful for all of our lives--the good as well as the bad, the moments of joy as well as the moments of sorrow, the successes as well as the failures, the rewards as well as the rejections--that requires hard spiritual work." Yep. It sure does. And it never gets easier either, at least that's my experience.

He then closes the quote with this: "Let's not be afraid to look at everything that has brought us to where we are now and trust that we will soon see it in the guiding hand of a loving God." WOW! So this says to me that all the events of life (big and small) make up who I am and what I can do for God. Let's see...that would include traffic, work, school, studying, Ian, waiting for Megan, I could go on and on...man, what a perspective.

I almost need to take the sentence and place it everywhere I am so I can see it in all my circumstances and be grateful for the good, the bad and the ugly.

Holiday Weekend

On the eve of a long holiday weekend (for most of us, anyways!) I thought I'd post. The last few weeks have been so busy for me. I've started the enormous task of preparing for my qualifying exams. Oh my goodness...there is much more to do than I anticipated! I sure am glad that I started early! WHEW! If it ever stops raining here (yes, its been a very wet spring), we plan on staining the deck and maybe even painting inside this weekend. Whether it is dry enough to do either of these things remains to be seen, but we would like to get something off the long list of summer projects!

We are also on the eve of the next batch of referrals to come out. While we do not expect to be in this batch, rumor has it that it will be larger than we have seen for many a month. If they do get as many days as rumored, we could be in the August or September batch. Much better than the outlook a few weeks ago...which was most likely not bringing Megan home in 2007. Whenever it is, it will be the perfect timing. And we will wait until the appointed time.

Wait Here

In addition to our wonderful pastor, Brian, I frequently listen to a local pastor on the radio. The church is Reunion Church and the pastor is Richard Ellis. Here is the direct link to the most recent sermon that is absolutely moving: Wait Here. Some of the things that touched me...

When Jesus ascended into heaven, he told his disciples to wait here until the Comforter comes. The disciples had to wait more than 50 days. I wonder how many of them wanted to move forward...I wonder how many of them gave up...I wonder how many of them were frustrated and wavering in their faith that Jesus would even send the Comforter. I want to say, I can't imagine. But, unfortunately, I've had to wait for too many things (well, I think it's too many!). The waiting game is something I'm getting good at, not necessarily by my preference to be good at, just kind of happened that way. For example, we've been in process to bring Megan home for over 2 years now. It's been 3 years since Ian joined our family--I thought for sure after God took him home that He would bring us another child by now, but no, we've had to wait here.

Richard in his sermon mentions Habakkuk 2. I'm sure I've read this passage before, but I always find it amazing how God brings different things to life at the appointed time. Look at verse 3: "For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry." Oh man...the vision God gave us years ago to adopt from China--I knew it was not yet time, we had to wait. Yet, at the time the wait was easy. Now, we are still waiting as the appointed time is not yet here. But this wait is FAR more difficult! Being near the end of the journey...seeing the finish line...it sure is hard to wait. But, as Richard Ellis finishes up his sermon..."It is worth the wait." I've heard too many families talk about how when they meet their child for the first time, the wait simply melts away. Too many have said the wait was so worth it (of course they can say this after the fact!).

I certainly want to be where God wants us no matter how long it takes.

Weeds

Brian raised an interesting question this week. After challenging us to consider our expectations of God, he mentioned Matthew 13 and the Parable of the Sower and the Parable of the Weeds. He asked "Do you want to be weeds all your life?" It hit me like a ton of bricks. We have choices...oh, so many choices.

First question: do we want to be weeds? We certainly have the choice here. Do we want to choke out those who have received the word, are growing in the Lord, and are in our circle of friends/acquaintances? Do we, as weeds, want to lead these individuals astray? Do we realize the end result of weeds? They are bundled and burned at the end (Matt 13:40)? I hope we do not want to be weeds.

Second question: Are we "in the weeds"? This one gets a little tougher. This requires us to consider our friends and acquaintances. Are there more weeds around us than wheat? How does being around weeds affect us? We, of course, know the answer, but are we willing to face the answer? The wheat can get plucked up with the weeds...certainly tangled up and possibly choked out. If we are "in the weeds", what do we do? How are we going to change our course? How we do "move" our wheat? Certainly going to need some self-reflection and deep prayer.

Third question: Are we wheat? How do we ensure our wheat is as hearty as possible? How do we ensure we are healthy kernels? How do we surround ourselves with other wheat? If you know anything about farming or gardening, you know that plants that are surrounded by weeds tend to be wimpier than those not being choked out by weeds. If they are fruit or veggie bearing plants, the produce tends to be fewer and/or smaller while the well weeded garden produces much more and much better.

So, I walked away asking myself these questions...and so I pass them on to you. Are you: 1) a weed; 2) in the weeds; or 3) healthy thriving wheat with few weeds around?

A Milestone Achieved

Thank goodness the semester is over! I've submitted my final paper in my final doctoral class! WHEW! What an amazing feeling....of course the greatness of it fades fairly quickly when I think of the dissertation research I get to work on this summer. But for the moment, it feels good! If only it was the final submission of my dissertation. That would definitely call for a celebration of magnificant proportions!

In the mean time, I have a summer to-do list as long as my arm...all those things I've put off for so long will be tackled this summer. Once we see Megan's face, all "things to do" will be lost. Well, at least the ones not Megan related!

God is so Good

During the month of April at our church, we have been collecting funds for Chinese orphans. Originally, the project started with the gift to go to Megan's orphanage--either a cash donation or purchasing items that they need when we arrive in China. However, after the first week, I became aware of an orphanage who did not have a well. They literally carried water from somewhere else to meet the needs of about 60 children. So, we broadened it with the intent to help fund this well project and us take a small amount to Megan's orphanage since most orphanages who participate in international adoption seem to have fewer needs than those who do not participate. And this orphanage cares for special needs children who may never have a home outside of the orphanage.

I received the final numbers today...God is so good...not only will we be giving to fund a little more than half the well project ($3,500), but we are also taking $1,500 to Megan's orphanage. I am completely overwhelmed at how God allows me to be part of the amazing things He is doing in and through RCC. God is so good!