What About You?

If Brian continues with such amazing sermons over the next weeks, I'm going to have make it a tradition to give highlights of the sermons. This week's was so amazing...I've requested a copy. But there was one point that I specifically want to share--besides there were so many excellent points, I wouldn't know where to stop once I started. (Rumor has it...it will appear on the website at some point in the future--see the website below.)

So, taken from John 6, I'll highlight the one point from the chapter I want to mention...although Brian mentioned many. In this chapter, Jesus feeds the 5,000 the first time. Shortly afterwards, Jesus retreats to the mountain to pray. His disciples decide to cross the lake. The trip should have been short--probably an hour--however, NINE HOURS later they are still rowing. As Brian puts it, it's getting kind of "salty". Imagine the physical pain these guys are feeling from rowing against the wind. The water spraying in their face. The frustration (and possibly bad language?) they express to each other--Come on, guys, who's not doing their part? Why aren't we at the other side yet? What in the world? Maybe we should go back? Mark 6:48 says "He (Jesus) saw them straining at the oars, because the wind was against them." Jesus saw them from the mountain as they struggled to get to the other side. Did you see that? JESUS SAW THEM STRUGGLING! After he saw them, he came to them--by walking on the water. Jesus knew they were about ready to quit. He knew they were frustrated. He told them "It is I. Do not be afraid." (John 6:20). After he came into the boat, it was immediately at the shore.

It makes me think...God sees me struggling. He sees me frustrated with how long it is taking to bring Megan home. He knows my sadness that Megan will not be here for Katie's wedding. He knows, if I let it, this wait can make me "salty" too. Why is it taking this long? I don't know. I have the "quip" phrases I say..."Megan's not ready yet" or "God's timing is perfect". All of which I believe are true. But I know, when the rubber hits the road, He sees me, where I am. He will come to me when He knows I'm ready to give up--to turn around--to call it quits. What about you?

So, where are you? Have you just entered the boat and it hasn't gotten "salty" yet? Have you been rowing for hours...trying with all your might to get to the other side? You know, I think there is something else here too...no matter what the disciples did IN THEIR STRENGTH they were not able to overcome the wind and water. It was Jesus who solved their problem. It was Jesus who brought them to shore--when their energy was completely expended and their body ached. When they were at their wits end, it was Jesus who brought them to shore. It was Jesus. It's so simple, but yet so difficult.

Referral Cutoff

Oh my gosh...the cut off for April is....drum roll, please...NOVEMBER 1ST! That means they are FINALLY matching those in the month before us! WOOHOO!!!

So exciting....only 7 more weeks of families logged in before us! Shouldn't be too much longer now! Puts us in the "probably July or August" category (still!)! Now THAT's good news!

Does This Hit Home For You?

Pastor Brian's sermon last night (we have church on Saturday nights)...oh my goodness...it was so incredibly good! I had share some of the "most moving" highlights! He began a series 5 weeks ago looking at Jesus through the eyes of John, the disciple Jesus loved. So, this week, we were on John 5. Please take the time to read the entire chapter; as for the sake of space, I am only going to summarize not only the passage, Brian's comments on and my impressions.

Some background, John 5 is the healing of the man who was sitting by the pool Bethesda. He had an ailment for 38 years and had been attempting to get into the pool when the angel came down to move the waters. (Remember, an angel would come down, move the waters and the first person in the water would be healed.)

Brian has such a phenomenal way of making the Bible come to life! He is truly a gifted teacher! He suggested we consider this man's response to Jesus when he asked the man if he wanted to be healed. Instead of saying "YES! I want to be healed", he said, "I have nobody when the water is moving to put me into the pool; but while I am trying to come myself, somebody else steps down ahead of me" (John 5:7). Brian's point is: we get stuck looking only at one solution to our problem. For this man, the problem was not being able to get into the waters...while the solution to the ailment was talking to him! Sometimes God wants us to consider that he wants to solve our problem, but if we are only praying and looking for one specific solution, we are going to miss the healing/answer/ultimate solution. So, what is your problem you are seeking a solution to? Are you asking God to show you His solution or are you praying for a specific solution and not seeing it being answered that way?

I immediately thought of so many people I know who are struggling with infertility. They see the ONLY solution to building a family as a biological one. However, there is adoption which is the way God is growing our family. And I, personally, would not have it any other way! I also thought of a family member who is dead set on obtaining a job with a specific organization. He continues to set his entire life (and his family's lives) on hold by not seeking other employment as he waits for THIS job. I have always wondered all this time he is so focused on one specific thing, what is he missing somewhere else? I know for us, DH did not want to move to Texas. He prefered Chicago. But God wanted us in Texas, and if we had not been open to what God wanted...we would have missed SO MANY blessings!

Do you want to be free of want? Well, the solution is to focus on Jesus. This man was praying for someone to put him into the pool, when if he had even been paying a little bit attention, he would have seen that Jesus--the great healer--was standing in front of him! He almost missed it when Jesus said "get up; pick up your bed and walk" (vs. 8). He was so focused on the only solution--getting into the pool--he was not listening to the talk about temple of who Jesus was. I wonder, how many others around the pool did Jesus heal? How many others then began pursuing their healing from him rather than just the pool? I don't know. John does not talk about any of the others around the pool.

The last point...did you see the people who were focusing only on the fact that he was carrying his mat? They completely disregarded what could be a "bigger sin" of performing a healing on the Sabbath. Instead, they only focused on the man not carrying his mat. Again, we see individuals who are honed into one thing without realizing they should consider the fact that HE WAS HEALED! (Until, of course, the man told them it was Jesus who healed him.) And did you also notice the man did not even realize WHO had healed him until Jesus later found him in the temple? What's up with that? He did not even realize who Jesus was when he was talking to him. He was, again, so focused on the pool, he was not even paying attention to the man he was talking to. Maybe he was not even looking at Jesus, completely focused on not missing the moving of the water. Maybe it "about time" for the water to move...and he was not about to miss it because he was talking to "some man".

Boy does it make me think...is this me? What areas of my life am I narrow mindedly praying for a specific answer for a specific problem rather than allowing God to bring the answer another way? How about you?

My Latest Purchase

I saw this on clearance at JCP a couple of weeks ago and purchased it in size 6/9 mo. I thought it looked a bit big, but when I got home and showed it to DH, the first thing he said was "looks a bit big, doesn't it?". (Since he thought so too, I knew it probably was going to be.) So, I decided yesterday to go back and see if they had one in 3/6 mo. I had pretty much resigned to knowing they would not have it, but I got there, and they did! It was the last one in that size too! I was pretty excited! So, whether she's little ity-bity or a just small...I believe this is what Megan will wear on the plan ride home. It is adorable, but comfy. Who can resist a cutie in this?

Our Farewell--3 Years Ago

It seems unbelieveable that we said good bye to our Ian just a week after welcoming him into the world. I am forever grateful for the almost 24 hrs where he never left our sight...for Brian taking all the family photos of us with our beautiful boy...for NanaLin, Grandpa Gale and Grandma Patty being able to see him alive...for the many friends and family who helped in more ways than I can list.

But life goes on. And ours has...different than we expected, certainly more DIFFICULT than we expected, but it has. We miss Ian desperately. I frequently think about how different our life would be if he was still with us. But he's not...and Megan will be soon. So, I attempt to look forward--to what Megan will bring to our life. After all, what other choice do I have? (Well, okay, what other VIABLE choice do I have?)

This week I reviewed notes I had made just 15 weeks after Ian joined our life as I stood up in front of 100+ people and shared my testimony (twice, actually). I was reminded of something that "came to me" then...I cannot permanently sit on the curb of the road of life because Ian is gone. Yes, it is okay to sit down and have a good cry. But, I cannot spend the rest of my natural life sitting on the curb. I'll miss too much of what lies ahead. And now--3 years later--the "curb time" is becoming less, but it does not change the loss. It does not eliminate the pain, but it does lessen. The intensity comes and goes, but with the large circle of unbelieveable friends I am blessed with, I will survive.

Ian's Birth Day - 3 Years Ago

It's hard to believe it's been 3 years already! Man, time goes fast. While this year has been difficult since we anticipated Megan home by now, it has been the least difficult of all of them, I think. I can't say best, because celebrating a child's birthday without them is never "best", but I can finally say they do become a little less painful. Tonight we are having some close friends over for pizza and a balloon release. Family across the US are also marking the birthday with a balloon release.

I pray next year Megan is here to release the balloons with us! I look forward to having a little one with us to see the world through their eyes!

Happy Easter 2007!

Well, we certainly thought our Megan would be with us for Easter 2007--or at least have her photo by Easter, three years after our beautiful Ian joined our family. But, apparently her day is supposed to be special without past memories attached to it. Her day will come soon...

At this point, the referrals are not looking good. As of right now, it appears to only be for 2 days of people logged in, which means it contains only October people--and not the rest of October. But, there are still rumblings that information is still in route to arrive early this week. We are hoping that our friends, the Zimmers, will receive their approval in this batch of information yet to arrive. Further, a fellow Buckner/Gladney family, is hoping for referral this week as well. If not, they will have missed the cutoff by 2 days! We figured they would certainly be in this batch! I sure hope more information is on the way. I pray it is so!

Wishing you and your family a Blessed Easter!

Is it Boy or Girl?

Don't freak..it's not us...well, not really. Clark & Tosha are pregnant! We are so excited!!! Will it be a new niece or nephew! Personally, I think I'm voting for a boy...just to even the score as the current "score" is: Boys 2, Girls 3. We have (in order of birth) Ashley, Kaitlynn, Ian, Brady, MEGAN and new baby! But if we continue the pattern...it could be a girl!

Congrats Clark & Tosha!