Megan learned the months of the year at school. She has been singing it for months, but just recently decided it was okay to do it with us (and the camera) looking!
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
Being real
I'm going to be open and real for this post. Not that I'm not usually, but I am good at only writing/sharing/focusing on certain things. Typically, the good things. I don't often share the struggles/fears/concerns that cross my mind. Now, in general, I don't worry. And for the most part, I'm pretty good about putting my concerns at the feet of Jesus. After all, there is not much I can do about them until I turn them over to him. If he's going to resolve them, he has to have them. At any rate, I realized just moments ago that I needed to share this. All of this.
In the last few weeks, I've been experiencing a lot of anxiety. Anxiety surrounding Rachel. How is bringing a 13-yr old going to change our family? How is Megan going to respond? How is it going to change my marriage? How in the WORLD do you PARENT a teenager? And what about a teenager who's emotional age is probably more like 7 or 8? What is she going to be like? Is she going to click with us? Is she going to hate being in our family? How long will it take her to "be real"? And where is the remaining $8,000 going to come from? How am I going to travel to China by myself? What if I "need a break"? There will be only me. No walking away for a breather when I'm the only parent! Who will I talk to about my struggles or what to do? How will Megan handle me being gone for that long? How will Dad handle being full-time parent for that many days? My head spins with it all. Seriously. That's a lot of heavy stuff. I hadn't really shared any of it with anyone...I've just been letting swirl around in my head occasionally, afraid to say anything. I would be lying if I didn't say that I've even considered backing out of this...the demands on me feel like too much sometimes. But, I know this is God's plan, so I keep trudging forward. And trudging is EXACTLY what it feels like.
One day this week when I should have been doing something else more "productive" while Megan was napping, I was strolling around websites. This site is one I found more recently. In fact, I found it because the moderator contacted me to ask if we'd like to be profiled on the site. Seeing it as an opportunity to possibly sell more t-shirts and hairclips, I said YES! I haven't been on the site for a while, for many reasons. First, its not bookmarked on my laptop and most of my website strolling I do on the laptop while Megan is watching her few shows or she's playing with Dad. Second, I haven't been strolling websites much! It's just been so busy, I have not had the time to do it. At any rate, I read this article written by another adoptive mom. One who didn't plan on adopting at that time, but God had other plans. She spoke RIGHT TO ME. I swear. Was she reading my mind? Oh, no. It was a God thing. Hop over and read it, if you a minute or two. But if not, let me just say it opened my eyes to realize that adopting JiJie Rachel is not one bit about me. Not one bit about how I'm going to do it. Or if I can. Or where the money will come from. Its about the big things God is going to do. It's about the the position I get to play. Do I want to sit on the sidelines and watch? Or do I want to get in the game and play? Personally, I chose to play a position on the team and see what God's going to do.
I realize this is not going to be easy, but then there's little about my life that has been. It's about being willing to join the game. And I'm willing. I'm sure there will be days that the struggles will be significant and I will need to be reminded about the goodness that will come out of this. But I will play the game. I wouldn't miss it for the world! And I wouldn't miss giving Megan the opportunity to have a sister for whatever little (or big) inconveniences that lay ahead.
In the last few weeks, I've been experiencing a lot of anxiety. Anxiety surrounding Rachel. How is bringing a 13-yr old going to change our family? How is Megan going to respond? How is it going to change my marriage? How in the WORLD do you PARENT a teenager? And what about a teenager who's emotional age is probably more like 7 or 8? What is she going to be like? Is she going to click with us? Is she going to hate being in our family? How long will it take her to "be real"? And where is the remaining $8,000 going to come from? How am I going to travel to China by myself? What if I "need a break"? There will be only me. No walking away for a breather when I'm the only parent! Who will I talk to about my struggles or what to do? How will Megan handle me being gone for that long? How will Dad handle being full-time parent for that many days? My head spins with it all. Seriously. That's a lot of heavy stuff. I hadn't really shared any of it with anyone...I've just been letting swirl around in my head occasionally, afraid to say anything. I would be lying if I didn't say that I've even considered backing out of this...the demands on me feel like too much sometimes. But, I know this is God's plan, so I keep trudging forward. And trudging is EXACTLY what it feels like.
One day this week when I should have been doing something else more "productive" while Megan was napping, I was strolling around websites. This site is one I found more recently. In fact, I found it because the moderator contacted me to ask if we'd like to be profiled on the site. Seeing it as an opportunity to possibly sell more t-shirts and hairclips, I said YES! I haven't been on the site for a while, for many reasons. First, its not bookmarked on my laptop and most of my website strolling I do on the laptop while Megan is watching her few shows or she's playing with Dad. Second, I haven't been strolling websites much! It's just been so busy, I have not had the time to do it. At any rate, I read this article written by another adoptive mom. One who didn't plan on adopting at that time, but God had other plans. She spoke RIGHT TO ME. I swear. Was she reading my mind? Oh, no. It was a God thing. Hop over and read it, if you a minute or two. But if not, let me just say it opened my eyes to realize that adopting JiJie Rachel is not one bit about me. Not one bit about how I'm going to do it. Or if I can. Or where the money will come from. Its about the big things God is going to do. It's about the the position I get to play. Do I want to sit on the sidelines and watch? Or do I want to get in the game and play? Personally, I chose to play a position on the team and see what God's going to do.
I realize this is not going to be easy, but then there's little about my life that has been. It's about being willing to join the game. And I'm willing. I'm sure there will be days that the struggles will be significant and I will need to be reminded about the goodness that will come out of this. But I will play the game. I wouldn't miss it for the world! And I wouldn't miss giving Megan the opportunity to have a sister for whatever little (or big) inconveniences that lay ahead.
Sunday, January 09, 2011
SNOW!
It seems like the last several years we've gotten snow in February. And if memory serves me right, we got snow on Christmas Eve last year. Anyways...we got a surprise snow storm today!
Bundled up and can't WAIT to go out!
"It's snowing, mom!"
She's SO IN LOVE with the snow.
"Just working" on the snowman...which led to...
Oops...the snowman fell over from all the "work" Megan did. The snowman did not make it longer than 30 minutes...Dad didn't even get to see it!
In the house for hot chocolate (her first time!). After much trepidation, she tried it and low and behold..she liked it...just like I told her she would!
The evidence that we had fun in the snow...
Needless to say, the wet clothes are in the dryer so she can go back out. She didn't want to come in and has been begging for the past hour to go back out!
Bundled up and can't WAIT to go out!
"It's snowing, mom!"
She's SO IN LOVE with the snow.
"Just working" on the snowman...which led to...
Oops...the snowman fell over from all the "work" Megan did. The snowman did not make it longer than 30 minutes...Dad didn't even get to see it!
In the house for hot chocolate (her first time!). After much trepidation, she tried it and low and behold..she liked it...just like I told her she would!
The evidence that we had fun in the snow...Needless to say, the wet clothes are in the dryer so she can go back out. She didn't want to come in and has been begging for the past hour to go back out!
Thursday, January 06, 2011
January?!?! 2011???
Not only is it January already, but we are now SIX days into January? It just doesn't look to slow down anytime soon. I was recounting to my sister today all that is going on..and her head was spinning just from reading it. Yep, that's I feel living it!
Our documents went to China on Dec 17th (yay!). Interestingly enough, we send out documents for Megan on Dec 6th in 2005 and we were officially logged in on Dec 20th, 2005. I believe we should get the approval to go to China in late March/early April. That's just THREE MONTHS AWAY! holy smoly...there's a LOT to do besides raise the last about $8,000.
Well, I have very little time to write anything...but here are some pics for Dec. I can say that I taught a class the last week of December and I swear Megan grew up SO MUCH in that one week! So crazy.
Graduation
It's official!! PhD!
Megan's new "perch" that she calls her "cliff". I think cliff comes from Cliff H@nger, a character/story line on Between the Li0ns, one of her favorite shows.
One of her favorite Christmas gifts: a microphone
Our documents went to China on Dec 17th (yay!). Interestingly enough, we send out documents for Megan on Dec 6th in 2005 and we were officially logged in on Dec 20th, 2005. I believe we should get the approval to go to China in late March/early April. That's just THREE MONTHS AWAY! holy smoly...there's a LOT to do besides raise the last about $8,000.
Well, I have very little time to write anything...but here are some pics for Dec. I can say that I taught a class the last week of December and I swear Megan grew up SO MUCH in that one week! So crazy.
GraduationIt's official!! PhD!
Megan's new "perch" that she calls her "cliff". I think cliff comes from Cliff H@nger, a character/story line on Between the Li0ns, one of her favorite shows.
One of her favorite Christmas gifts: a microphone
Can you tell how much this girl loves shoes? This face says it all!
I wish I had more time to write. It seems like life is moving so quick and I want to document it all, but there is just so little time...and even less energy!
I wish I had more time to write. It seems like life is moving so quick and I want to document it all, but there is just so little time...and even less energy!
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