Family & Sleep

Reading funny books with Uncle Collin & Gina (future Auntie)

Sleep...where are we????

Well, when Collin & Gina came to visit this past weekend we decided to try something different. We set up the pak-n-play in our room. We figured if she woke up (which she had been doing a lot since we came home from SD trip), we'd just put her in bed with us like we did at Nana's house. She had never slept in our room before, so we really weren't sure how it was going to work. It worked out great. The first night, she ended up in our bed around 2am (I think) and she slept pretty well in there (although I didn't). Then we decided to try it Sunday night as well since DH was off on Monday and didn't have to get up at 430am. It worked out even better. She didn't wake up until after 4am and slept in our bed until 545. Since the work week was going to start, we decided to do some furniture re-arranging in our extra bedroom (where we've been sleeping--across the hall from her room) and put the bed against the wall. We also moved the pak-n-play in there. So, this week, we've been putting her to sleep in the rocker in her room, then moving her to the pak-n-play across the hall. She's slept in there until at 4am (this morning it was 520), then put her in bed with me. Yesterday morning she slept until 520 am (not so good considering she didn't go to sleep until 845!!!), but this morning, she slept until 630! And she went to sleep around 815-catching up from the night before, I'm sure! The last couple of days I've also had her nap in there, too. After I put her to sleep, I'll lay on the bed and read for a little while and/or take a nap myself. Then when she wakes up, I bring her to bed with me. She's still only sleeping 2 hrs, but at least its not in the rocker with me as it has been again lately.

I'm not sure how long we will continue this routine. I'm guessing a few weeks, maybe a couple of months. We'll reassess once she's sleeping past 5am in her bed. Regularly, that is. I honestly think she'd sleep until at least 6am if we could get through the sleep issues. But, who knows.

Doggie Love

Megan loves to share Irish's pillow.
He is not as fond of the sharing, but accepts it.

Reading bedtime stories to Irish.

Reading Bedtime stories to Dakota
(Dakota actually sat through the story a few times, surprisingly!)

Zoo

Megan's first "horse experience"
(She loves horses, but not this one much, apparently.)

Our attempt to get a photo of the girls..

Feeding the goats
She liked it, but I was afraid she would eat the food herself!

Photos

We went to the zoo with NanaLin, Brooklyn, Aunties Tosha & Katie
(more photos of that later)

The best we can do with our subjects...
Don't they look adorable in their matching/coordinating outfits?

The beautiful girls!

Such a cute photo!

Auntie Jodi with a not so excited Megan

More to come...

2nd Birthday Party

We started off in our birthday dress...(the pants were a last minute addition with the cold weather)


Then we did a craft (decorating a paper lantern). Here are a few of the decorators.


Then we took some photos...(another post)..which required an alternate outfit, so the birthday cake photos are with the alternate outfit (bummer, but still cute). Yes, I made the cake, it was actually pretty easy.

A Quick Hello

...from the great (but cold) state of SD! We are having fun seeing all the family...but looking forward to some warmer weather. Yesterday was nice (in the 70s). Nana, Aunties Katie & Tosha, Cousin Brooklyn, Megan, DH & I all enjoyed a beautiful day at the zoo yesterday followed by a picnic at the park. Megan's party is today (looking forward to seeing Auntie Jodi & Uncle Keith as well as Cousins Ashley & Brady!), and it's only supposed to be 60. BBBRRRR...cold considering it was a balmy 91 when we left Texas!

So, photos when we return on Wednesday!

Please Pray

...For Kayleigh's family. She was born in June weighing 1 lb. She went to be with the Lord last night. In her 11 months of life, she never came home from the NICU. In fact, they were preparing to bring her home in the next few weeks.

We know the pain of losing a baby. Mother's Day will always hold a special place in their hearts. Pray that God would bring them peace, hope and comfort in the days, weeks and months to come.

Mother's Day fun

Fun, fun, fun!

Megan found these old glasses and has been very interested in them.
(Of course, she won't wear the ones she has!)
Dad finally got a photo last night.

Grandma V & Megan
Oh, and Mr. Lion, who Megan loves to throw out of the rocking chair
and laughs and laughs and laughs!!

Mothers Day morning, Megan found this hat on the chair.
She hates wearing it when she's supposed to, but this morning she wanted to wear it while she had breakfast. So we obliged, and captured it on camera, of course!

Happy Mothers Day!

Here we are this AM after church...in front of Ian's tree

Daddy with his precious daughter

Momma with her baby girl

Little Miss Smarty Pants

I don't know how...but she can identify almost every letter of the alphabet.

She loves to say "yes"...in the most precious voice.

I realized this morning that she grown 9 inches in 13 months. Wow, that's a lot of growth. No wonder everything I have is too small!?

And she's figured out how to stand up in her little rocking chair. Oh crap.

My baby is growing up...sniff, sniff.

Sleep Specialist

Well, we went back to the sleep specialist today for a follow up. We were really torn about whether we should go or just cancel the appointment. We decided that we would go if only to help educate the doctor on trauma in determining sleep recommendations.

It went much better than either of us expected it would. He asked how his recommendations went and we said not well at all. He asked for more details and I shared about our realization that we needed to consider the trauma she had experienced early on in her life. Actually, I think I phrased it as "Are you familiar with trauma and attachment and the impact on sleep?". His face lit up and he said yes, I am. I shared that after 11 days of trying the go to sleep on her own system, we realized that she needed to have the security of me (not so much DH, unfortunately) holding her as she goes to sleep. Since we've changed to a modified version of what we used to do, she's going to sleep after 20-40 minutes of rocking. He was excited that we figured out what was working for her and resolving our sleep issues, for the time being, anyways. He also shared that he felt he learned something today, which he was apparently excited about. He shared that some kids are just stubborn and need to have a "reality check" that mom & dad aren't going to always be at their beck and call, but others need the security of rocking/holding. He encouraged us to continue to respond to what Megan needs right now. He did suggest we watch for when she might be ready that she just might be a little insecure/timid to make the transition to the unknown next step. I've always said that I felt when she moves to a big girl bed (sniff, sniff) will be a good time to begin helping her transition to falling asleep on her own. I don't see that happening though, for at least 6 months, but more like around her 3rd birthday (unless she continues growing so rapidly that she has to move out faster!).

Speaking of growing...she now weighs 27lbs and is 33 inches tall. She's gained about 1/2 pound and grown almost an inch since our last appointment with him! No wonder she's eating so much!!!

We go to her pediatrician tomorrow...I think Megan has something going on with her ears...she's had a low grade fever the last couple of days and she's consistently losing her balance. She is known for tripping and falling, but not simply falling because she's lost her balance. So I want to have it checked out. DH has noticed her digging her ear some, but I hadn't noticed that before, besides she's always done that from time to time.

Letters and Words

Well, Megan now can identify M, W, B, O and X. We don't know where she figured out W, but I taught her M today. If you ask her where the B is...she says "zzzzz".

Oh, and she said "glasses". twice. She now says "yeah" or "yes"...its TOO cute!

She's at grandma V's this morning...I'm off to grade papers.

Need a Megan Fix???

Megan is feeding herself with the spoon now...she's such a big girl!

As evidenced by the floor..eating rice is a bit tough!

Closer look at the floor..
Of course the dogs didn't mind cleaning up!!!

All dressed up for Church..Isn't that cute!?

A new found toy!

This week

Well, since I started rocking Megan to sleep again this week, she's slept A-W-E-S-O-M-E!!! She's asleep within 30 minutes and sleeps almost all night...for 10 hours. She might spend the last hour or so in the rocker with me, but otherwise she is in her bed the entire night! I'm sure part of it is from her being COMPLETELY exhausted, but we are celebrating her sleeping! We are having some behavioral issues (which are completely unusual for her), but they are getting better the more we snuggle and rock.

Have to say if I needed more of a confirmation that we are doing the right thing...this would be it!

p.s. photos in an upcoming post...it's been entirely too long!

So here's the deal...

On Tuesday (when I posted what I did), we had some possible reasons for why Megan needs touching and/or rocking to go to sleep. We know nothing more about her past, just a reminder about it. If you remember, here I discussed Megan's exposure to trauma. And we feel that this trauma is still influencing her sleep. In the research that I've done this week, I've read about many families who are experience sleep issues years after their child is in the safety of their forever home.

Megan has made great strides developmentally and physically which makes it easy to forget about her pre-American life. But, it is part of who she is and it cannot be neglected. You may disagree with me, but honestly things are different. I cannot parent her the same way that I would parent another child with a different background (and I'm not talking Chinese here). That's a fact. One that we are well aware of, even though others tend to forget. Would I like to forget? Yes and no. Yes, because it makes me sad that she hasn't been with us since birth. But, no, because it is part of who she is.

We realized this week that us leaving her to go to sleep on her own in her bed was only feeding into her fears. When I was sitting in the doctors office those weeks ago, I literally started crying when he told me we had to stop rocking and I honestly did not know why I was--other than I knew that was not the answer. But, having discussed things with some other parents this week, I've been able to put words to my feelings. The sleep doctor completely ignored the fact that we are missing information about her beginnings. Honestly, that's a huge piece of the puzzle that is missing--and it's not a few pieces from the edge of the puzzle, but right smack dab in the middle of it. We cannot get an accurate picture without that very large piece. That's what was bothering me in the doctor's office. That's what was bothering me about letting her fall asleep on her own. That's what has been wrong with what we are doing.

I cannot tell you the peace that I felt (well, after I calmed down a little) when we discussed it further. This felt right. For both of us.

So, what we're doing with Megan right now is what Megan needs. All advice on how we're spoiling her or letting her control us or whatever, you can keep to yourself. Unless you've parented an adopted child who has experienced trauma, you are probably don't understand and that's okay.

It's been determined

We are in agreement that we are abandoning the fall asleep on her own process we've tried. We've received some new information today that makes us realize this is much bigger (as I have always thought it was). Once I can go through it all to be able to adequately explain our thinking/findings, I will post an update.

Until then, my heart is literally broken...and I'm overwhelmed with the possibilities for her troubles.

Abilities

this will be a work in progress...but here are some new things Megan has started to do:

• She will put her finger to her mouth and shush. It's too cute!!!
• She says "go, go, go, go"
• She now says mama more often, but still not when asked.
• She knows the colors: blue, red, orange, yellow, brown, pink, purple, green
• She's very interested in letters--especially B, X, O
• She makes a zzzz sound when we ask her the sound a Bee makes.
• She says "x" and "s" (although they sound similar) as well as "o", when we say the letter. However, she has a bowl that has an x and o in it (from valentines day) and she will point to them and say the letter.
• She loves to hold her books facing out then says "aaaahhhh" when she's ready for you to read the page. Too cute.
• She's becoming quite the fashion-esta. Every morning I give her the choice of 2 outfits. Once she picks, she then gets to chose her hair clip as well as her shoes (with 2 to pick from, of course!). On Sunday, she was wearing a yellow outfit with hot pink flowers. So I gave her the choice of gold flip flops or hot pink sandals. She looked at the shoes, looked down at her outfit, looked at the shoe choices again and picked the gold ones. It was too cute!!! Another day I had her in a hot pink jumpsuit with turquiose embroidery. I gave her the choice of hot pink or turquiose hair clips. Again, she looked at what she was wearing and picked the hot pink one. Same with the shoes...picked the hot pink ones. It was pretty cute!
• She is SO kissy! I mean dolly, paci, crayon, book...you name it...she gives it kisses. Randomly, of course. She has started giving us kisses on the lips (and yes, her mouth is closed). So sweet!
  

She continues to surprise me at what she knows, understands and can do!!! Love her to pieces!!!!

Sleep

...is seriously lacking at house. Today is day 11 of this new system. And honestly, things are no different now than they were before we changed it. It's taking her at least an hour to go to sleep every time. Nap time (if she even takes one, which she didn't again on Saturday. Well, she slept for 20 min in the car if that counts) is 5 minutes of rocking to drowsy, put her in bed and she walks and laughs and sits up and talks. We leave the room, she stands up and cries. Sometimes throws her paci and dolly then is mad that she doesn't have either one of them. Hm, wonder why that is? Bed time is worse. I don't usually leave the room at bedtime b/c it makes her not sleep well...meaning on the days I leave the room at nap time, she usually wakes up exactly 40 minutes after she goes to sleep. I can't take that chance with bedtime, so I just sit there--bored out of my mind, wishing, praying and dreaming she would lay still long enough to go to sleep. I rock for about 20 minutes...she's typically a little drowsy (not as drowsy at naptime, though)...then I give her kiss and put her in bed. I'll pat her tummy (and/or back as she rolls to and fro) for a few minutes, then I sit down next to the crib. She stands up, walks around, sits up, lays down, rolls around, crawls around, talks, claps her hands, rubs her eyes, I mean everything and anything. Last night I put my hand in her crib and that seemed to keep her laying down longer, but didn't impact her going to sleep any faster despite being e-x-h-a-u-s-t-e-d. We started rocking at 7pm, she didn't fall asleep until 840. Ridiculous.

Maybe I'm crazy...or maybe I'm wanting to be right (I usually am, you know! lol). But, there is something wrong. By this point in the game, it should be easier. We have NOT rocked her to sleep (well, I did cheat a little yesterday at naptime and she slept 2.5hrs!). She's still waking up during the night. Last night was awake from 3-4am. She finally fell asleep, started crying at 415am. I went in and comforted her (I picked her up b/c she was not stopping by simply patting her), she went right back to sleep when I laid her down. I thought FORSURE she'd sleep until at least 6am (which would have only been 8.3 hrs). Nope. Awake crying again at 5am. Wouldn't go back to sleep. That's not even 7.5 hrs. She was crabby, crying (b/c I was laughing at how cute her "where is" game is! It took her quite a while to stop, too!), fussy--all the behaviors of an overly tired child. I did take her to school today (FOR MY OWN SANITY!). The plan was (and is, I guess) to have her take a nap there. It could go really well--b/c she's so tired--or really badly--where she'll go to bed early and hopefully easily. My problem is that her regular teacher isn't there today (and I thought she was going to be), so that concerns me a bit. But, whatever sleep she gets, she gets. And we'll deal with the behavior when she gets home at 2pm. DH comes home around 4pm, so that's only a few hours of me running solo.

I am a millisecond away from calling the doctor to say, this is NOT working. But, we go back in 10 days and maybe things will change by then. I was thinking while I was sitting in there last night maybe she is waiting for DH to come in and rock her since I've been the one putting her down every time since day 1. My thinking was that I could confidentially tell the doctor that we had kept things the same every night and still no go. But, I think he might try tonight and see if that helps. I don't know...I'm grabbing at straws here, and figure it doesn't hurt to try!

Stuff

Standard look when outside...run, run, run!

Loves being outside!

Things are insanely busy around here...crazy busy....absurd...can I get off the ride now? Anyways...sleep this week...well, she has put herself to sleep all week...but taking AT LEAST 1 hr every time (including naps). Not going to sleep until 845 almost every night...still up at 5am. Not typically waking up during the night, and if she does, it looks similar to what I posted before. She's averaging 8-8.5 hrs of sleep a night with 1.5-2hr naps...that means LOTS of fits, temper tantrums, frustration, etc. at our house because she is so tired.

She is such a soft hearted girl....if she thinks it is REMOTELY possible that you are laughing at her, she will burst into tears. It happens a lot more when she is tired..and especially if someone besides DH or I are there and laughing. She still does it for us (like this morning at 530!), but it doesn't happen as much.

We're taking her 2 year photos today...probably taking more this week with her traditional Chinese dress...errands to run, student needs to meet (and soon major projects to grade), house to clean, laundry to do, bags to pack, b-day party to plan/prepare for, dog sitter to meet...all before we leave on May 13. Oh boy. My stress level is over the top.

On a side note....a friend of a friend told me about this huge warehouse sale for a local vendor of kids table & chairs, play kitchens, etc. Everything is dirt cheap...seriously...I got this table & 4 chairs for $15 for the table...$2 a chair. They were selling play kitchens for $40. Can't beat those prices! They are new...has a few scruffs, but nothing serious. Yet another "birthday present" for our Sweets (and I need to stop shopping)!

First sentence

Just spoken...

And it is...

"where is Irish?"

How appropriate....