Trauma

I have not gone into any discussion on why Megan could be having the bad nights that she does up to this point. I guess I have said that she is a "night processor", but otherwise, I have remained quiet. I feel like now is an excellent time to share what I believe is likely impacting Megan's sleep issues: trauma. No, she likely wasn't abused or neglected. She wasn't in a car accident. Here is an excellent website that discusses trauma in adopted children for those of you interested. Essentially, trauma is experiencing loss. And Megan has experienced loss: loss of her birth parents, loss of the familiar at the orphanage (to name just a few). While many people want to simply overlook the fact that she has experienced these losses, it doesn't change the fact that she has experienced these losses. (In fact, she's experienced more losses more than some people ever experience in their adult life and she experienced it all by 11 months.)

Earlier this week, Megan's night started out bad. What's bad? Well, we can tell what kind of night it's going to be simply by how the 10 o'clock hour goes. That night, she would doze off to sleep in my arms, then wake herself up, fuss and we'd start the process over again. It went on for an hour. Finally, at about 11:30pm, she fell asleep and I was pretty certain she was very asleep, but I wasn't sure what do with her. Did I put her in her crib and risk her waking up the minute her legs hit the sheet? Or just bring her to bed with me? As I was standing over her crib praying for an answer, she woke up, looked at me, didn't make a peep but fell back to sleep. I knew my answer and promptly brought her to bed with me. I had just gotten her situated (snuggling close to me) and she began what I can imagine were bad dreams. She whimpered and began gasping like a child who had been crying hard for a long time and they were trying to calm themselves down. It was absolutely heartbreaking. I was almost in tears. It went on for I think was about 15 minutes or so. Then she calmed right down. She did look at me a few times, (and I thought, oh crap, now she's awake again) but she's just roll over and go back to sleep. I'm confident she was processing something. I believe it was some of the trauma she's experienced because it had been a very quiet few days at our house--we'd stuck around the house. She slept with me for about 3 hours, then it took about an hour to get her back to sleep, but then she slept for a couple of hours.

So...if you are wondering...since I posted about our good nights of rest...we've not had good nights at all. The last several nights have not been good. Last night Dad was on "duty" and he said she was very restless, whimpered quite a bit and lost her paci several times. That means a short night for Dad, but he did wake me up a little before 4am to trade off. She never did go back to sleep. I worked on it for 45 minutes, and she slept for only 5 (yes, minutes). Nothing is more frustrating than that! UGH!

I pray she processes her losses soon so that we can have a "normal" sleep life at our house!!!

My Secret Blog Pal

I've done Secret Pal with various church groups, but this is the first time I've done it via blog! Well, I received my first "item" in the mail yesterday. A beautiful homemade card with a lovely note. Very sweet!

So, my bloggie friend...whoever you are...THANK YOU! (I'm not crafty...likely by choice...I could probably be crafty, just do NOT have the patience--or time, for that matter--for it.) It's always fun to see what people create!

Could it be?

As I've posted here SO MANY TIMES, Megan has had sleep issues. She has never slept longer than 3 consecutive hours...oh, wait, I think she did when we were in China she would nap in the Bjorn that long and when we were on the flight home she slept quite a long time. Anyways, that was true until the last two nights. I'm NOT kidding! Wednesday night she slept from about 7pm to 11pm...needed a little comfort/confirmation that mom was still there, but went back to sleep. I would hear her whimper a few times at various points, but slept until about 4:30am. I left her in her bed as she simply talked and rolled around, but a little before 5am, she started to cry. So, I went in and got her. I sat in the rocking chair with her for a little bit, but it was pretty clear that she was awake for the day. Yeah, Megan! Oh, but was it a fluke?

Well, last night she went to sleep before 7pm, cried out a bit at 10pm, needed her paci at about 11pm, but then I pretty much heard NOTHING from her the rest of the night! But, she was awake at 4am and wouldn't go back to sleep. Two nights in a row, fluke? PLEASE tell me we're past the horrible nights...or at least where they are infrequent. PLEASE!

So, what have we done differently? Well, the only things I can think of are: 1. we were consistent about beginning to rock her sleep right around 6:30pm and 2. she's eaten a big and "late" supper both nights. Since she's decided to fully feed herself, she's been having meat. I mean we've given her meat in the past, but most of the time we'd have to go on a "fishing" expedition 30-45 minutes after eating because it was still in her mouth (those cheeks are good for something!). Well, she's been handling it fine now. She loves roast beef lunch meat (she is her daddy's girl!). She also loves green beans, but not so fond of carrots (when it used to be her favorite baby food). So between having a "heavy" supper and going to be early, something is working! I think another experience had an impact as well, but more on that later.

I feel almost human...after a fairly good night's rest two nights in a row...oh my, I could used to this VERY quickly! Now, if we can get bedtime moved to about 7:30 so we can sleep until 5:30ish, things would be good!

Explosion of Talent

Well, okay, maybe not talent, but abilities! During the past week, she has decided to perfect:

• use of the sippy cup (handles or not)
• feeding herself (and she can SHOVEL it in, with her left hand. The right hand's fine motor skills aren't as good.)
• eating table food (in fact, she only eats baby food now simply because I have some homemade servings I want to use up)
  
• standing alone (she will randomly let go of me, the table, couch or whatever she is holding on to)
• walking along things (her LeapFrog table, couch, etc.)
• signing just about every sign on her Signing Time Vol. 1 DVD (Dad being the most recent...so all day long she says "dada dada dada" and now she signs it too! Man, that really stinks for Mom! I'm about ready to go on strike...um, about that...)
• shutting doors (she's always loves to move them open, shut, but today she accidentally shut herself in her room and couldn't get out! Mom came to the rescue--to find her banging on the door and yelling as if saying, "hey, wait a minute, let me out, I didn't mean to do that!")
  
• oh, and let's not forget the temper tantrum (such a surprise coming from such a spicy, sassy girl, I know!)
  

My little baby is growing up!!!! I just said to DH tonight at supper that it's exciting she's growing up, but it's sad that my baby is no longer a baby. Now, if only we could perfect the sleeping through the night thing. Man, I will DEFINITELY be glad when that happens! Sleeping is getting better overall, but we are definitely still have really bad nights. (What is a really bad night? Let's see...mom or dad seeing every hour on the clock.) Currently, we are working on eliminating the nighttime bottle. But then, if we're up with her anyways, what's the difference, uh? Then next on the schedule will be sleeping past 5am. (Of course this morning she was awake BEFORE 5am...so maybe making it TO 5am SHOULD be achieved first! haha)

So there you have it...my baby has made serious advancements into toddler-hood over the past few days!

I Hate Enterprise

We drove on our last trip to South Dakota. Since the drive is so long, we've rented a car the last couple of times we've driven. My sister works for Enterprise, so naturally, we've selected them to rent a car from. Yes, we do get a family member discount, which plays into our decision to select them. However, DH works for a large, national corporation that has partners with various businesses to provide serious discounts to their employees. Consequently, we could utilize that benefit as well. So, to my vent.

Reading Wendy's experience with Advantage, inspired me to write about my most recent frustration (which is yet to be resolved) with Enterprise. Basically, their staff are complete jerks (okay at least in the state of Texas!) and their managers are even worse. This is the first time I've been accused of being unethical when I'm the customer and am telling the truth. My request is simply that they hold themselves to their signed contract/rental agreement. I don't think that's too much to ask. And I certainly don't think it's unethical to hold that expectation.

Anyways...I surely hope this is solved this week. I got the final document I requested from them today to prove what I've been saying "unethically" all along, so if it's not resolved by the Regional Manager, I'll let the credit card company deal with it. I'm truly done. I'm simply tired of dealing with it every few days over the past almost 3 weeks. ugh.

Few fun photos

Meggie & Mommy...self-portrait

WHEW! Scary hair...
actually, you can see how it's getting so long

Party girl!
Taken at EJ's birthday party
Can't believe she's actually smiling for the camera.

15 months old

Not the best centered photo, but the expression is adorable!

(It actually was yesterday, but...)

We went for a check up yesterday and Megan weighs over 20 lbs! And she's now 29 inches! That means she's gained over a pound and grown over an inch in 2 months! WOOHOO, Megan! There have been several skills that she has not done (whether it's chooses not to or can't--the verdict is still out). She's apparently had a great burst in abilities this week...And she decided this week to show off her talents!

• She is now holding a sippy cup (and attempting to drink, but it's a bit heavy). YIPPEE!
• She can also hold her bottle (but doesn't hold it to drink out of it, go figure)
  
• She also decided to put cheerios in her mouth as well!
  
• AND she's now standing by herself! Yeah, Megan!

It's been a busy week at our house...I swear we see more and more changes EVERY DAY!

Some of our Favorite Things

Megan now loves to pull into a standing position EVERYWHERE, for no reason, just because she can. At least in this photo, she's at the window looking out (actually, I think she's playing with the blinds), but frequently, she's just standing against the blank wall. Crazy girl. It is funny, though when she pulls up to stand at her LeapFrog table, then gets down and crawls to the other side to again stand up. She'll figure it out, soon enough.

Remember a few posts ago she climbed under the table? Well, she did it at Nana's too! She found this side table provided a good short cut to the kitchen. It was a regular path she took while we were there.

She's also found a secret passageway in our living room as well...between the chairs and also behind the chairs! She took both of them yesterday, frequently. I have the feeling this little squirt is going to be good at hiding (and she's always quiet too!).

She also loves paper...notebook paper, napkins, tissues...any type of paper really. And she loves to shred it. It was provided a great time in the car several times on the trip! Thankfully, she doesn't eat it, just shreds it into tiny pieces and simply drops it! If she can't shred it, she'll simply crumple it all up.

Road Trip

Finally! A photo of her TRUE smile!

(Obtained by playing hide-n-seek which is her favorite game right now)

We returned early Friday morning (3 am) from our road trip to visit family in SD. It was fun, but the LONG drive is absolutely exhausting. I'm not looking forward to making it anytime soon! (Megan & I are flying up at Christmas time.) Of course, once Megan is a bit older we'll take a DVD player and it will hopefully keep her occupied for a good portion of the trip!

The trip included:

Our first haircut (given by Nana Lin)

And playtime with all her cousins!

Brooklyn

Brady & Ashley

Makayla & Ryley

It was a very quick trip (well, not really, but it felt that way!!!)

Re-Adoption

Today we had Megan's re-adoption. What is a re-adoption? It's basically a recognition of the adoption completed in China. We have to complete a re-adoption so Megan will have a US birth certificate and so that she will be considered the same as any US born child we bring into our family. (Some states do not recognize international adoptions and have been known to not give them "child" status in estate doings. Yes, it's horrible.) We had several family and friends join us for the special occasion. And we had several take photos for us...we're so grateful!


What made it being today extra special was that 4 months ago today, Megan was handed to us! And to not break with tradition, Megan slept through the ENTIRE thing! It was right at nap time, but she slept through every appointment in China too, so why not the final step in the process? That girl.

Tomorrow marks 4 months of her being our daughter. We are "celebrating" it with a road trip to visit family. It should be an interesting trip, we've not traveled this far with Megan in the car before.

A Future Fort?

This afternoon, Megan's ball went behind the table we have in our entry way. While she could simply reach in to get it, she decided maybe there was some exploring she needed to do!

Then she decided it would be a good place to attempt to stand up (holding on for support, though)!


The getting out wasn't pretty...in fact, it required a "Mom rescue"! She is really exploring her environment.

Uh-Oh

Megan loves to copy this phrase, only hers sounds like "uh-uh". So cute.

This morning I left her in her crib after she woke up...she woke up at 5:07am (yes, ugh), and when I peeked in, she was just laying there rolling back and forth occasionally talking. She really, though being pretty quiet. So, finally, about 20 minutes later, I heard a "I'm fully awake" squeal, so I went to peek. She greeted me...standing in her crib. This is a first. Every other time she's pulled herself up to her knees, but never went beyond that (hence the reason it was quiet, I suspect!). So...this is the new trick. I suspect she'll be using it quite frequently for a while...even though she is DOG tired, she'll still try to pull herself into a standing position. Little stinker. Yes, it's exciting! But, that means mom can't leave her in there for too long anymore! Crap.

We're getting closer to her feeding herself. However, in true Megan style, she's got to do it her way. If you put you hand out with a cheerio or goldfish on it, she'll look at it a second, then lean down to pick it up with her mouth--forget the hands! She also does it if you put it on the ottoman...leans over and picks it up with her mouth. I guess that's one step closer!

BTW--ornery face is back again...we're seeing it more and more...like when she's drinking her bottle! If it wasn't so darn cute...

Our Most Recent Talent

A few days ago, Megan started forgoing using her hands to pick up her paci when it fell and went right for picking it up with her mouth. I finally got it recorded this morning.

This girl is SO SILLY!

Her outfit is the cutest! The skirt finally fits, but I love this top. And the color looks so great on her!

Fun with Grandma & Photos

It's been a very busy week...it started off with Megan being up for several hours each night, but the sleeping at night has improved. We've also been VERY clingy this week...I think it's likely teething. She's spent quite a bit of time in her Lucky Baby Sling. It's been a LIFESAVER, okay, make that an arm saver!

Contemplating some trouble here

The show-down
(actually, a frequent scene at our house!)

Just being cute...notice the drool...a constant right now

Grandma came over to play the other day. Grandma can always get Megan to giggle and giggle and giggle. I was in the office and heard them giggling so I crept into the living room to record them. This is just a very SMALL part of the giggles...there were MANY more before I even got the video out.

14 Months Old

Crazy cute outfit--yes, that's strawberries for buttons!
(it is still a bit big, the pants were hard to keep up)

Our first "pooling" experience

It's actually tomorrow...but if the past week is any indication, I won't get to post then. I guess the past week has been occupied with figuring out when to catch up on sleep we're not getting at night! (It's been a bad sleep week for some reason). I swear every time we think we have a pattern figured out with the kid, she goes and changes it on us. We're in yet another change. She can pull up in her bed now (at least to her knees). Up until Wednesday morning, I assumed that meant she was awake and ready to start her day. But, I learned otherwise on Wed. We'd been up most of the night and at 4:30am she had pulled herself up in her crib after sleeping only 15 minutes in her crib after being rocked for much longer than that (and asleep in my arms). Thing was...she was SO TIRED her head was hanging...literally, hanging down it was so tired. (If I hadn't been so stinkin' tired I probably would have laughed at THAT moment...but it is funny now, BTW.) When I simply watched from the doorway, she sat that way for less than a minute, than laid herself back down. (She didn't go back to sleep, I'm sorry to say, but she did lay back down.) Crazy kid.

And today she learned to pull her hair bow out. Darn it. That 3 months of her being oblivious to what's in her hair was sure short lived! Well, I'm hoping she'll change her mind about taking them out as her hair continues to thicken and the bows stay in better.

Megan Kisses

Our new skill is to give kisses. It's not something we ever worked on and I'm sure the fact that she gets thousands of kisses a day had nothing to do with her desire to learn the skill. It started with her putting her mouth to ours when we asked for a kiss (this was just a few days ago!). But, now she makes a kiss sound. SO CUTE!

Here's a short clip of her doing it...I won't post the minute and half one of me trying to get it on video even though she is being cute. After that, I decided to lay off for a few minutes, then I turned on the camera (when she obviously wasn't paying attention!) asked for a kiss...and WHAM! Got it! (Much to my surprise!)

Happy 4th of July!

Megan has several patriotic outfits...dresses, of course...and here's the one she wore today.

Doesn't she look grown up with her arm resting like it is?

She's always making this face when I get camera out...it's hard to get a picture of her real smile (I'm guessing this will be a lifelong problem!). But it does show how big her top teeth are getting, usually I can't get a picture of those little boogers.


We went to Grandma & Papaw's for a 4th of July lunch. So we took a picture.

Uh-Oh

I had to show how long her hair is getting!

She has begun to clasp her hands together, it's SO cute!

This morning (at 4am, none the less) Megan pulled herself up onto her knees in her crib. Then at 5:30am she was sitting at the head of the crib reaching out and playing on the basket we have the monitor on. Guess we'll need to do some rearranging in her room! I've been waiting for her to do these things so I wasn't surprised. Last night was HORRIBLE for sleeping...she woke up at 3:15am. I tried to get her asleep for about 30 minutes--no go. Dad tried for about 45 minutes, finally got her to sleep...she was awake 15 minutes after he laid her down. Then she went back to sleep for me finally (probably took another 20 minutes), only to wake up 15 minutes later again. Needless to say...we're all tired at this house this morning!

Here's video of her crawling...she's really quick now!

3 months...

Three months ago today Megan came into our family. It seems like it's been longer than that! With as many changes as she has made over this short period of time, it seems like she's always been with us! She is crawling EVERYWHERE. She's also started this bear crawl thing in the kitchen (we are assuming because the floor is cold, but one never knows!).

Anyways, here is the best video we have gotten of it thus far. When she knows we're watching, then she'll stop. The little stinker. And the dogs are the inspiration to move around. She loves their tails, especially. They aren't so crazy about her now being able to chase after them.

A sad moment....

(Oh but this face makes it ALL worth it!)

...of realization that our days of having a quiet, tranquil child are O-V-E-R. Now that Megan is mobile, the girl never stops moving. And I mean NEVER. She's really mastering the art of crawling. Both last night, earlier today and tonight she moves so much she is drenched in sweat. Like almost need another bath sweaty (of course it being so hot and humid here doesn't really help the matter any).

She has also began practicing the extremely high pitched, ear bleeding, head spinning squeal/scream. She loves to "release" the worst of it when she is being rocked to sleep (even when she's ready for bed). It almost makes us jump it's so high pitched.

I stopped at the OshKosh outlet yesterday to see if they had any good hats. I truly cannot believe how difficult it is to find a hat that has a chin strap, with a brim that doesn't come down to her nose (and thus preventing her from seeing). I had found one at Old Navy, I wasn't overly crazy about it, but after checking a number of stores and not finding one, I got it. Anyways...these I got at OshKosh are absolutely adorable! And they were on sale (even better)! I wish I would have checked for other options of the wide brim hat...it is cuter on than I realized in the store. But then, we were coming up on nap time and my time was limited.

And these were just a FEW of the ones I took! I got some REALLY good ones!