A New Level of Trust

There seems to be a pattern in the passages of scripture that impact me lately. They seem to always focus on trust. The most recent I have been pondering for over a week. I was discussing some things with a person from my home group, she mentioned this passage and it's impact on her, and lately I've read and re-read it. So, here's my stab at it:

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego...do you ever wonder why we refer to Daniel as his given Israelite name and not the name Nebuchadnezzar gave him, but we refer to these men as the names given by the king? Okay, that's a side note...anyways. So these men refused to bow to the king's idol. I don't know why Daniel wasn't accused as well, as we read later he refused to follow a similar order later on, but he isn't. Only these three men, Daniel's friends, are accused here. And what was their response?

Daniel 3:17-18--"If our God whom we are serving exists, he IS ABLE to rescue us from the furnace of blazing fire, and he WILL rescue us, O king, from your power as well. BUT IF NOT, let it be known to you, O king, that we don’t serve your gods, and we will not pay homage to the golden statue that you have erected." (NIV)

Once it was discovered they refused to bow, the king's men arrested them and began stoking the fire SEVEN times hotter than usual. So hot that the guards putting them in the fire were killed from the heat. Yet, look at their expression of faith! Our God can...and He will...but even if He doesn't save us. What a level of trust. faith. testimony. Even if He doesn't...

Can I say that? Even if my dreams don't come true...even if the end result isn't what I planned or believe I've been promised. I believe He can do it...and I believe He will...but even if He doesn't, I will trust Him, believe in Him and serve Him.

Family New Addition

Proud New Mommy & Daddy

Brooklyn Dawn

Our new niece has arrived! She was born last night at about 8pm. I guess she decided she wanted to participate in Thanksgiving...or at least allow her parents too (she was due on Thanksgiving)! She is 7lbs 10oz. Photos finally arrived!

Look at all that hair??!!! So cute!

Amazing!

WOW are these powerful. The first is an interview with Mark Schultz on a song he wrote about adoption, the second is the video and song. Be sure to have your tissues ready...they are AWESOME!

Thanks, Debbie for calling attention to them in honor of National Adoption Month.

On the Other Side

Whew! Qualifying exams are over...well, the major portion is over. I still have oral exams once I have passed written exams, but I'm not concerned about them like I was the written exams. I wrote about 25 pages of answers over the past 2 days, answering about 10 questions, plus about 9 additional questions on a research scenario. I'm so glad they are over. I'm spending the next couple of days taking a break, but then I'm beginning dissertation research and writing beginning on Wednesday. One final step and I will be done.

Referrals began arriving on Friday, but the majority will likely arrive on Monday. It is believed the cutoff is December 8. That means only 11 days before they get to us! It's possible that we could be in the December batch, but we are expecting to be in the January batch. Just TWO months before we see Megan's face!! WOOHOO!!!

Takin' A Quick Study Break

You Belong in 1957

You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in!

What Year Do You Belong In?

Oh my...I am past my prime...

T Minus 12

Yes, this is a countdown...a countdown to when I finally am done studying for these horrible doctoral qualifying exams. On morning 13 (11/2), I will be getting up LONG before daylight (probably 4am, YES, in the morning) and driving 2 hrs to take my exams that start at 8am (must allow for travel snarls). They last 2 days. UGH.

So, that's where I am--nose in books, notebooks and note cards. It's where I'll continue to be for the next 12 days. I've seen an exciting referral rumor this morning, but it's early, very early. And early rumors of late have not been accurate, so I won't repeat it (although it's an attainable rumor). But we are still safely within the December to February window, with only 19 days of LIDs before us. Man, I wish I knew more. Well, maybe I don't, it would be too distracting! (Although I'd prefer to be distracted then studying!)

See you on "the other side"...(of quals that is!).

Happy Anniversary (a few days late!)

Here is my attempt at a self-portrait. (And if my subject would cooperate, it would be better! But he deserves to have a crazy photo posted--after all, this is the BEST of the goofy faces!) We went to Candice's wedding last night (yes, it was beautiful!)...and I couldn't help but think about our wedding 10 years ago: October 4, 1997. We've both asked each other: where has the time gone???? Crazy how time flies when you're having fun.

So, we are 20 percent of our way to my goal of celebrating our 50th wedding anniversary! We are certainly in a completely different place than I envisioned, but it's been fun and I wouldn't trade one moment for anything.

I am done...

I am so done with all of it. Referrals came out today. I am so done with trying to predict when we MIGHT be see Megan's face. It would appear that they only matched families who have been logged in between November 26 and 30th. They did not even get one day into December (or so it seems, it's truly not official yet). You see, there are VERY few people logged in Dec 1-4. In fact, 2 of the days they "matched" this month were weekend days. Dec 3 & 4 are weekend days. Why are they so insanely slow? Only God knows. Literally. If they continue at this pace, it will be February before we see her face. UGH! There truly are no words.

The good news...there are only 19 days between where they are matching and where we are on the list. The flip side is how many months will they take to get through those small, short 19 days? I hate to even ask.

Unexpected Lesson

This past week in home group we had an awesome lesson. (Yes, I'm the teacher, but I completely attribute the lesson to God's guidance and teaching.) I don't know if anyone else walked away as changed as I have...but even if I'm the only one affected by the lesson, then it was successful.

So, what was the lesson, you ask? It was from a most unlikely source. Pastor Brian is in our home group and I don't think he was too excited about the source, but he even noticed things I didn't. It was from Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (HP #1). Some background...last week Thursday after meeting with a friend, on my way home I asked the Lord to give me a word picture for when we get entangled in busyness, worry, frustration, anger, etc. I no more than had the words out of my mouth, than the scene popped into my head. I hadn't seen the movie in quite a while. We own it, but it's not one of my favorites, so I rarely watch it. Do I have your interest peaked? It's the scene where Harry, Hermoine and Ron are searching for the stone (which incidentally is the stone containing everlasting life, which could be another teaching). They jump into the trapdoor and land on a viney plant. One even makes the comment, good thing this plant was here...then the fun begins. The plant begins to wind around them, ultimately desiring to kill them. As they struggle, more vines wrap around them. Finally, Hermoine realizes it's the plant, "Devil's Snare". (Could it be more perfect?) And they need to relax or rest in order to be released from it's grasp. She relaxes and falls right through. Harry eventually relaxes and falls through as well. Ron just cannot see how he can relax when he is being choked and killed by this plant. Hermoine then remembers that Devil's Snare hates sunlight (or is that Son-light?), displays sunlight from her wand and Ron is released from the snare.

First off, let me just say that I had NO IDEA that the plant was "Devil's Snare" and sunlight was it's "enemy" until I watched it with this lesson in mind! Second, as was pointed out in our discussion, Hermoine had to be plugged in and connected in order to know the information she did. Finally, we were supposed to start a series entitled "When God's People Pray" by Jim Cymbala of Brooklynn Tabernacle Church. However, the books have not arrived yet because, I believe, the Lord wanted to teach us about ensnarement before we could learn the lessons from this series.

There were 5 points to the lesson based on various verses:

I Thessalonians 5:17 "Pray without ceasing." or "Pray continually." We looked at this command to us. We discussed: how can you pray without ceasing? What does this mean?

I Peter 5:7 "Cast all your cares upon God, for he cares for you." What cares should we cast upon God? What are some examples of the cares we have? Again, another command.

Prov 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct your paths." We noted there are 3 commands here: trust, lean on God (not on ourselves) and acknowledge Him.

Follow up questions included: what are some of the things that snare us like the plant "Devil's Snare"? What are the benefits the devil receives when he has us entangled? Then we looked at a couple other passages that look at our liberty in Christ and Christ's burden for us is light.

Is there something ensnaring you? The key to being released from the Devil's Snare is awareness...if you are aware of the snare entangling you, you can begin to focus on plugging back into our Power Source. Another key is action...when you become of aware of the entanglement, then you need to do something about it, go to your knees, God's word, etc.

Take an assessment...are you ensnared? Do you need freedom from something? God wants you free!

I'm So Honored!

A sweet blogger friend,Wendy at Adoption & Fire, gave me the "You Make me Smile Award". I'm so honored! Wendy always has such great postings on her website. I love to check it multiple times a day! If you need some inspiration, she's got it! Wendy is also adopting from China. She and DH were also logged in December 05 right around the same time as us! Thanks my fellow blogger friend!

In true blogger fashion, I HAVE to pass it on...and the website that makes me smile every time I read it has to be...David & Amy at Our Journey to China. We met them through our agency and look forward to seeing them at the monthly support groups (which we haven't been to for a few months--life's been too busy!).

Exciting Realization

I think I've gotten somewhat caught up from being gone for six days traveling to SD for Grandpa's funeral. It was an interesting experience...family dynamics, hhhmm. It was so good to see Ashley & Brady and, of course, my siblings. The cousins on that side of family were together for the first time ever. The last time we got together, the youngest two were not born yet, and they are in now high school. It was good to get some extended family photos and catch up with everyone.

Now...on to the exciting realization! I was in a planning meeting on Friday night...where we were looking at the next 90 days. So, in counting out in my head the months/days that includes....I realized something awesome...WE WILL likely HAVE MEGAN'S PHOTO in the next 90 days!!! OH MY GOSH!!!! Ninety days from now is mid-Dec...even if we miss the December batch, which I don't believe we will...we will see her face within the next 110 days! WOW! AMAZING! AWESOME! Needless to say, how can you focus on a meeting when during this quarter our lives will change! I will experience international travel...China...holding Megan. Cool. The sparkling cider is going in the fridge soon!

There are no new rumors yet, but things might begin floating in the next week or so. However, things are still so busy for us, that I likely will read them (assuming I even have time for that!), get excited to myself...likely email or call Keith with the rumor...then wait for referrals to come out! So...here's to referrals coming soon!

What an interesting weekend...

I'm sitting here...taking a moment to get my things together before heading out of town this week. My Grandpa Leo passed away this afternoon at the age of 93. Here is a picture of me with him taken a few years ago. He looks really good here, in fact he's looked like this most of my life. However, mom said that neither she nor my siblings who were with her yesterday at the nursing home recognized him. I'm grateful that he did not linger long.


On another note...referrals are in. The number of days covered are not as many as we would have hoped, nor rumored...the cutoff day was November 25. I will sugar coat this and say that apparently the number of referrals is not less than usual, as there were so many families logged in during this time. But, not matter how you look at it, it still stinks. It does reduce the number days until they get to us to 25 days! That's cool! It's still possible for us to be in November, but December is looking more likely. We are still looking at this year...but we will likely be the first group to hit waiting almost 24 months before referral. Yuck.

Peace Deviated

Last week, Pastor Brian shared from John 20. In this chapter, Jesus raises from the dead and Mary Magdalene finds the tomb empty. Brian looked at Jesus' words to his disciples. It was so refreshing, and appropriate for those of us in the adoption world. See, this is the first time I've looked at what Jesus says to his disciples...I mean TRULY looked at the words. Have you? Well, let me tell you, it's truly amazing. A little background...

After Mary finds the disciples and tells them she has seen Jesus (she is the first one he appears to, by the way), the disciples are scared. They are nervous. They don't know what to do. So, they meet together, and lock the door behind them because they are scared. They are scared they are all going to be killed like he was killed. Jesus then came in their midst and says..."Peace be to you" (John 20:19). Not only once, but he again says it in vs. 21. So, he doesn't say it just once, he says it twice! He said they should have peace...when the whole world was turned upside down. Peace. When he later comes back after Thomas is with them, he again appears to them inside the locked door, and again the first thing he says is Peace (vs. 26).

So what does that mean for us? When we are in the midst of fear, loss, pain, death, confusion and doubt, we need to have peace. The disciples experienced all of these emotions, emotions that Brian believes God did not desire us to experience, but we have experienced since the fall in the garden. Jesus speaks peace beyond all of it. If you think of peace as the perfect balance point on the scale, where are you out of balance? What areas do you experience fear, loss, pain, death, confusion and doubt?

Brian's question for us that I pass to you: Where have you deviated in your life from the peace God wants you to have? It is this area (or these areas) that you need to give back to God.

It's That Time Again

Referral time! Well, almost. The rumor is they are about ready to be sent. I hope they are sent today or early tomorrow so they will arrive yet this week. Otherwise, with Monday being a holiday, families in the US will have to wait until Tuesday to receive the news! That would be bad...well, not really. After all, if they are sent this week they will actually be earlier than usual, which would be very, very, VERY good!

Currently, they are saying that November 29 is likely the cutoff, the rumors have been scarce this month, so it they might not go that far. I'm not sure which I like better: a month where tight lips abound and we hear pretty much no information or a month of looooooooooooose lips where the news is so good, it's crazy and laughable. I'm thinking maybe the quiet months. I think they bring about less stress me anyways. So, that's the latest...which really isn't much. But, now you know what I know: pretty much nothin', honey.

My prediction/hope is they go to Nov 28...so if they get to the 29th...I'll be MORE than overjoyed and, for me, it will firmly keep us in the Nov/Dec 2007 range of when we will hear some news! So, that's all, folks!

Whew!

I have made it through a HORRIBLY busy week! I taught a mini term this week with 24 students! Each student turns in 2 papers over the week...which I promptly return the next morning and they take 3 exams. I still have their final projects to grade, but I do feel like I'm back to the land of the living. To top it off, I contracted food poisoning Thursday night, which meant Friday was a VERY short day (final exam and that's about it)! In fact, they did not complete their presentations, they simply turned in their projects as I was completely unable to sit through that many presentations having been up all night sicker than I have been in years. I think the last time I was this sick was before we were married! Needless to say, I won't be eating coleslaw for some time!

The weekend still holds a fairly long to-do list, but I feel like I do have somewhat of a handle on it, I think. Not including getting caught up on all the news, rumors and events that happened over the past week. Fall semester starts on Monday, which also means I have to complete the last minute things to be sure I'm ready for that to begin as well!

I do ask those who know us and our story to pray for a virtual friend of mine. She does not want to disclose too much information, so I will not identify her, but I do ask that you pray for her and her family. Her infant niece died this past week from a genetic disorder. She was the first child, first niece, first grandchild. Unfortunately, I know the pain as a mom to lose your baby and my family knows the pain of losing their first grandson/nephew. Please pray for their family. And, blogger friend (and fellow China adoptive mom-to-be), if you read this, know there are many on here who are praying for you and your family! God will be faithful, I promise!

Preparing Myself

Okay, potential bad news here (although it could be read as good news). Yes, I'm talking about projections for us getting referral. I've just scanned through the numbers of those that I KNOW are logged in before us in December. I've added it all up, guessing approximately how many families will be matched each month based on previous months, etc. It's not looking good.

I still believe it is looking good for 2007. However, November is not looking so good. Certainly, there is the possibility that they could begin to speed up more than I've estimated. Certainly, they could not speed up at all (which makes 2008 the year of Megan in our household). If my calculations are correct, we could miss the November group by ONE lousy DAY! While that would be more than disappointing and border on frustrating, it would guarantee us in the December batch. See there is a silver lining here. It would mean another Christmas without Megan, although being in the December batch means we will at least have her photo and know what providence she is in at Christmas time.

So, I'm putting it out there...if it happens there will much wailing and gnashing of teeth at our house for a day or two after referrals come out. But, after the sulking is over, the excitement of knowing we'll be in the next batch will propel us through the month, I know it will! Besides, we can't stay negative at our for too long...it's in our jeans (yes, I spelled that right!)!

August Cut Off

Much to my amazement referrals began arriving today! They do not typically arrive until at least the 4th so arriving on the 2nd is pretty amazing. It appears the cut off is November 21, 2005. While I'd have liked to see them get further into November, it is what I expected for this month's referrals.

What does that mean for us? Well, first off, there are LESS THAN 30 DAYS of families ahead of us! That's so incredibly exciting...we truly are getting close! I don't think anyone has posted photos and information yet, so I have no idea if these kids are really young (between 6-10 mo) like they were last month, or if they are bit older (between 9-12 mo). I should know in the next couple of days.

Congratulations to those families who are receiving the information on the children this week!

****UPDATE****November 21st is the cutoff, and the babies I've seen seem really young (6-8 mo with a couple around 11 mo.) There are apparently several boys, as well as several sets of twins! That's exciting (but won't happen to us...we did not apply for twins)!

Rumors and Such

First off...before I even enter the realm of discussing rumors...I do want to note that we have been on the list in China (LID) for 19 months today. Exciting? Not so much! I certainly expected to be home with Megan by now...26 months after beginning this process.

Okay, on to rumors...I hate to even put the rumors in writing, they really are too good. And most likely WAY to good to be true! They are, however, coming from multiple sources, so I'd be remiss if I didn't at least post them (then I can laugh later that they were so far off base!). The rumor is that they will complete the last half of November and get into December in the next batch, which will arrive sometime the first week of August.

NOW: before we all get excited...let me remind you that rumors that come out this early and look this good typically are NOT true, but they do provide a certain bit of humor! November was a record breaking month of families who submitted their documentation to China to adopt. Even the possibility that they could get through the last half of November in one month, while it took two months to get through the first half...is laughable. But it's out there.

The good thing this rumor does for me...(as someone else so eloquently stated) we are close enough to be in the rumors--well the month of December is, anyways. I'm still thinking that November is most likely when we will hear something. And it would be just like God to make me wait until after I pass my qualifying exams November 2-3 to get our referral! (It would be an AWESOME reward, though.) Although, it might be best or it would be INCREDIBLY difficult to focus on studying if I have Megan's picture and an upcoming trip of a lifetime in my sights before I take the exams! If we are in the November batch...we'd likely travel around Christmas time...Christmas in China...what would be a better present????

More Wedding Photos

Okay...got some more photos from my SIL...Thanks, Jodi!


Bride Katie & Flower Girl Ashley



Dad & Katie (Dad, what were you thinking at this moment?!)

I'm still waiting for the "must take the can-can off now" photos from the Park! Hopefully I've have them soon! (Long story, but hilarious and memorable! Oh, and if you see photos on the internet of a bridesmaid and bride standing behind a bus, both laughing while trying to hold the bride's dress up, email it to me!! Because that's us! --And a video of it would be even funnier--See I told you it was hilarious!)

Megan

No, we do not know anything more now than we did yesterday, but I thought I'd post some random thoughts. We know we are nearing the day we'll see her face. Every day we are one day closer. While I've been saying that for several months...but knowing that July is half over and that we could very well see her face in November makes it very real that we truly are VERY close.

Here are some random thoughts I'd had while following fellow Buckner/Gladney families and friends who are on the final leg of their trip to bring their little girls home. First, as I go to their blogs multiple times a day hoping for an update, I can't help but wonder...each of these girls looks SO DIFFERENT! Does Megan look like any of them? Is she in any of the providences that these families are at? Or is she in the same providence as our friends (and former neighbors) live in? Those families who were able to go to their daughter's orphanage...was Megan there? Have they seen Megan and we don't know it? Will Megan have long skinny legs like beautiful Abby or will she have a full face like adorable Faith? Will she grieve like Lili?

I've read recently that those who do the matching of children with families tend to not only look at bone structure, facial features and interests of the children and families, but they also look at dates. (Did you realize there were so many things they considered?) So, families are often referred children who are born near other family members' birth dates. Will Megan's birthday be in April like Ian? Or May like me? Or was she born in December like her daddy (which also happened to be his 40th birthday...and the 1 year anniversary of our file being sent to and logged-in in China)? Will we receive a referral around our 10th anniversary in October? If so, it would be a complete surprise and shock (at least from the view right now)!

So many questions...but the answers will be here soon...because November is only 3.5 months away!