Well, we went back to the sleep specialist today for a follow up. We were really torn about whether we should go or just cancel the appointment. We decided that we would go if only to help educate the doctor on trauma in determining sleep recommendations.
It went much better than either of us expected it would. He asked how his recommendations went and we said not well at all. He asked for more details and I shared about our realization that we needed to consider the trauma she had experienced early on in her life. Actually, I think I phrased it as "Are you familiar with trauma and attachment and the impact on sleep?". His face lit up and he said yes, I am. I shared that after 11 days of trying the go to sleep on her own system, we realized that she needed to have the security of me (not so much DH, unfortunately) holding her as she goes to sleep. Since we've changed to a modified version of what we used to do, she's going to sleep after 20-40 minutes of rocking. He was excited that we figured out what was working for her and resolving our sleep issues, for the time being, anyways. He also shared that he felt he learned something today, which he was apparently excited about. He shared that some kids are just stubborn and need to have a "reality check" that mom & dad aren't going to always be at their beck and call, but others need the security of rocking/holding. He encouraged us to continue to respond to what Megan needs right now. He did suggest we watch for when she might be ready that she just might be a little insecure/timid to make the transition to the unknown next step. I've always said that I felt when she moves to a big girl bed (sniff, sniff) will be a good time to begin helping her transition to falling asleep on her own. I don't see that happening though, for at least 6 months, but more like around her 3rd birthday (unless she continues growing so rapidly that she has to move out faster!).
Speaking of growing...she now weighs 27lbs and is 33 inches tall. She's gained about 1/2 pound and grown almost an inch since our last appointment with him! No wonder she's eating so much!!!
We go to her pediatrician tomorrow...I think Megan has something going on with her ears...she's had a low grade fever the last couple of days and she's consistently losing her balance. She is known for tripping and falling, but not simply falling because she's lost her balance. So I want to have it checked out. DH has noticed her digging her ear some, but I hadn't noticed that before, besides she's always done that from time to time.
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2 comments:
That's great news. I'm so glad he was receptive of what you are doing for Megan. And I have to say that letting her indicate when she is ready to move onto the next step of perhaps not being rocked will happen.
I never thought it would and I just put Isabel down after changing her doing our mini bedtime routine and put her down without rocking her. And she's out at least for a few hours anyhow.
Of course I miss it like crazy but someone told me that eventually I can rock her as part of our routine once she's not dependent on it. Anyhow, all that to say it will happen. If Isabel naturally transitioned that way Megan can too.
Daytime naps though at the babysitter helped a ton. She wouldn't rock her but was able to sit in the room with her back to Isabel in the playpen for 10 minutes while Isabel fussed and she would go to sleep. If she didn't fall asleep she would just take her back out with the other kids and she wouldn't nap. This wouldn't work with me since if I was in the room Isabel would want me desperately.
Sorry to ramble. I'm glad that things are improving with Megan even if it is slower then you hoped. And I'm sorry that she tends to only want you at night, that can be extremely tiring.
You're doing a great job!!
GOOD JOB MOM! YOU KNOW BEST! I don't think it's a bad thing to have to hold your little one and cuddle. She'll grow and things will change...treasure the cuddle time now!
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