Unexpected Lesson

This past week in home group we had an awesome lesson. (Yes, I'm the teacher, but I completely attribute the lesson to God's guidance and teaching.) I don't know if anyone else walked away as changed as I have...but even if I'm the only one affected by the lesson, then it was successful.

So, what was the lesson, you ask? It was from a most unlikely source. Pastor Brian is in our home group and I don't think he was too excited about the source, but he even noticed things I didn't. It was from Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (HP #1). Some background...last week Thursday after meeting with a friend, on my way home I asked the Lord to give me a word picture for when we get entangled in busyness, worry, frustration, anger, etc. I no more than had the words out of my mouth, than the scene popped into my head. I hadn't seen the movie in quite a while. We own it, but it's not one of my favorites, so I rarely watch it. Do I have your interest peaked? It's the scene where Harry, Hermoine and Ron are searching for the stone (which incidentally is the stone containing everlasting life, which could be another teaching). They jump into the trapdoor and land on a viney plant. One even makes the comment, good thing this plant was here...then the fun begins. The plant begins to wind around them, ultimately desiring to kill them. As they struggle, more vines wrap around them. Finally, Hermoine realizes it's the plant, "Devil's Snare". (Could it be more perfect?) And they need to relax or rest in order to be released from it's grasp. She relaxes and falls right through. Harry eventually relaxes and falls through as well. Ron just cannot see how he can relax when he is being choked and killed by this plant. Hermoine then remembers that Devil's Snare hates sunlight (or is that Son-light?), displays sunlight from her wand and Ron is released from the snare.

First off, let me just say that I had NO IDEA that the plant was "Devil's Snare" and sunlight was it's "enemy" until I watched it with this lesson in mind! Second, as was pointed out in our discussion, Hermoine had to be plugged in and connected in order to know the information she did. Finally, we were supposed to start a series entitled "When God's People Pray" by Jim Cymbala of Brooklynn Tabernacle Church. However, the books have not arrived yet because, I believe, the Lord wanted to teach us about ensnarement before we could learn the lessons from this series.

There were 5 points to the lesson based on various verses:

I Thessalonians 5:17 "Pray without ceasing." or "Pray continually." We looked at this command to us. We discussed: how can you pray without ceasing? What does this mean?

I Peter 5:7 "Cast all your cares upon God, for he cares for you." What cares should we cast upon God? What are some examples of the cares we have? Again, another command.

Prov 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct your paths." We noted there are 3 commands here: trust, lean on God (not on ourselves) and acknowledge Him.

Follow up questions included: what are some of the things that snare us like the plant "Devil's Snare"? What are the benefits the devil receives when he has us entangled? Then we looked at a couple other passages that look at our liberty in Christ and Christ's burden for us is light.

Is there something ensnaring you? The key to being released from the Devil's Snare is awareness...if you are aware of the snare entangling you, you can begin to focus on plugging back into our Power Source. Another key is action...when you become of aware of the entanglement, then you need to do something about it, go to your knees, God's word, etc.

Take an assessment...are you ensnared? Do you need freedom from something? God wants you free!

I'm So Honored!

A sweet blogger friend,Wendy at Adoption & Fire, gave me the "You Make me Smile Award". I'm so honored! Wendy always has such great postings on her website. I love to check it multiple times a day! If you need some inspiration, she's got it! Wendy is also adopting from China. She and DH were also logged in December 05 right around the same time as us! Thanks my fellow blogger friend!

In true blogger fashion, I HAVE to pass it on...and the website that makes me smile every time I read it has to be...David & Amy at Our Journey to China. We met them through our agency and look forward to seeing them at the monthly support groups (which we haven't been to for a few months--life's been too busy!).

Exciting Realization

I think I've gotten somewhat caught up from being gone for six days traveling to SD for Grandpa's funeral. It was an interesting experience...family dynamics, hhhmm. It was so good to see Ashley & Brady and, of course, my siblings. The cousins on that side of family were together for the first time ever. The last time we got together, the youngest two were not born yet, and they are in now high school. It was good to get some extended family photos and catch up with everyone.

Now...on to the exciting realization! I was in a planning meeting on Friday night...where we were looking at the next 90 days. So, in counting out in my head the months/days that includes....I realized something awesome...WE WILL likely HAVE MEGAN'S PHOTO in the next 90 days!!! OH MY GOSH!!!! Ninety days from now is mid-Dec...even if we miss the December batch, which I don't believe we will...we will see her face within the next 110 days! WOW! AMAZING! AWESOME! Needless to say, how can you focus on a meeting when during this quarter our lives will change! I will experience international travel...China...holding Megan. Cool. The sparkling cider is going in the fridge soon!

There are no new rumors yet, but things might begin floating in the next week or so. However, things are still so busy for us, that I likely will read them (assuming I even have time for that!), get excited to myself...likely email or call Keith with the rumor...then wait for referrals to come out! So...here's to referrals coming soon!

What an interesting weekend...

I'm sitting here...taking a moment to get my things together before heading out of town this week. My Grandpa Leo passed away this afternoon at the age of 93. Here is a picture of me with him taken a few years ago. He looks really good here, in fact he's looked like this most of my life. However, mom said that neither she nor my siblings who were with her yesterday at the nursing home recognized him. I'm grateful that he did not linger long.


On another note...referrals are in. The number of days covered are not as many as we would have hoped, nor rumored...the cutoff day was November 25. I will sugar coat this and say that apparently the number of referrals is not less than usual, as there were so many families logged in during this time. But, not matter how you look at it, it still stinks. It does reduce the number days until they get to us to 25 days! That's cool! It's still possible for us to be in November, but December is looking more likely. We are still looking at this year...but we will likely be the first group to hit waiting almost 24 months before referral. Yuck.

Peace Deviated

Last week, Pastor Brian shared from John 20. In this chapter, Jesus raises from the dead and Mary Magdalene finds the tomb empty. Brian looked at Jesus' words to his disciples. It was so refreshing, and appropriate for those of us in the adoption world. See, this is the first time I've looked at what Jesus says to his disciples...I mean TRULY looked at the words. Have you? Well, let me tell you, it's truly amazing. A little background...

After Mary finds the disciples and tells them she has seen Jesus (she is the first one he appears to, by the way), the disciples are scared. They are nervous. They don't know what to do. So, they meet together, and lock the door behind them because they are scared. They are scared they are all going to be killed like he was killed. Jesus then came in their midst and says..."Peace be to you" (John 20:19). Not only once, but he again says it in vs. 21. So, he doesn't say it just once, he says it twice! He said they should have peace...when the whole world was turned upside down. Peace. When he later comes back after Thomas is with them, he again appears to them inside the locked door, and again the first thing he says is Peace (vs. 26).

So what does that mean for us? When we are in the midst of fear, loss, pain, death, confusion and doubt, we need to have peace. The disciples experienced all of these emotions, emotions that Brian believes God did not desire us to experience, but we have experienced since the fall in the garden. Jesus speaks peace beyond all of it. If you think of peace as the perfect balance point on the scale, where are you out of balance? What areas do you experience fear, loss, pain, death, confusion and doubt?

Brian's question for us that I pass to you: Where have you deviated in your life from the peace God wants you to have? It is this area (or these areas) that you need to give back to God.

It's That Time Again

Referral time! Well, almost. The rumor is they are about ready to be sent. I hope they are sent today or early tomorrow so they will arrive yet this week. Otherwise, with Monday being a holiday, families in the US will have to wait until Tuesday to receive the news! That would be bad...well, not really. After all, if they are sent this week they will actually be earlier than usual, which would be very, very, VERY good!

Currently, they are saying that November 29 is likely the cutoff, the rumors have been scarce this month, so it they might not go that far. I'm not sure which I like better: a month where tight lips abound and we hear pretty much no information or a month of looooooooooooose lips where the news is so good, it's crazy and laughable. I'm thinking maybe the quiet months. I think they bring about less stress me anyways. So, that's the latest...which really isn't much. But, now you know what I know: pretty much nothin', honey.

My prediction/hope is they go to Nov 28...so if they get to the 29th...I'll be MORE than overjoyed and, for me, it will firmly keep us in the Nov/Dec 2007 range of when we will hear some news! So, that's all, folks!

Whew!

I have made it through a HORRIBLY busy week! I taught a mini term this week with 24 students! Each student turns in 2 papers over the week...which I promptly return the next morning and they take 3 exams. I still have their final projects to grade, but I do feel like I'm back to the land of the living. To top it off, I contracted food poisoning Thursday night, which meant Friday was a VERY short day (final exam and that's about it)! In fact, they did not complete their presentations, they simply turned in their projects as I was completely unable to sit through that many presentations having been up all night sicker than I have been in years. I think the last time I was this sick was before we were married! Needless to say, I won't be eating coleslaw for some time!

The weekend still holds a fairly long to-do list, but I feel like I do have somewhat of a handle on it, I think. Not including getting caught up on all the news, rumors and events that happened over the past week. Fall semester starts on Monday, which also means I have to complete the last minute things to be sure I'm ready for that to begin as well!

I do ask those who know us and our story to pray for a virtual friend of mine. She does not want to disclose too much information, so I will not identify her, but I do ask that you pray for her and her family. Her infant niece died this past week from a genetic disorder. She was the first child, first niece, first grandchild. Unfortunately, I know the pain as a mom to lose your baby and my family knows the pain of losing their first grandson/nephew. Please pray for their family. And, blogger friend (and fellow China adoptive mom-to-be), if you read this, know there are many on here who are praying for you and your family! God will be faithful, I promise!

Preparing Myself

Okay, potential bad news here (although it could be read as good news). Yes, I'm talking about projections for us getting referral. I've just scanned through the numbers of those that I KNOW are logged in before us in December. I've added it all up, guessing approximately how many families will be matched each month based on previous months, etc. It's not looking good.

I still believe it is looking good for 2007. However, November is not looking so good. Certainly, there is the possibility that they could begin to speed up more than I've estimated. Certainly, they could not speed up at all (which makes 2008 the year of Megan in our household). If my calculations are correct, we could miss the November group by ONE lousy DAY! While that would be more than disappointing and border on frustrating, it would guarantee us in the December batch. See there is a silver lining here. It would mean another Christmas without Megan, although being in the December batch means we will at least have her photo and know what providence she is in at Christmas time.

So, I'm putting it out there...if it happens there will much wailing and gnashing of teeth at our house for a day or two after referrals come out. But, after the sulking is over, the excitement of knowing we'll be in the next batch will propel us through the month, I know it will! Besides, we can't stay negative at our for too long...it's in our jeans (yes, I spelled that right!)!

August Cut Off

Much to my amazement referrals began arriving today! They do not typically arrive until at least the 4th so arriving on the 2nd is pretty amazing. It appears the cut off is November 21, 2005. While I'd have liked to see them get further into November, it is what I expected for this month's referrals.

What does that mean for us? Well, first off, there are LESS THAN 30 DAYS of families ahead of us! That's so incredibly exciting...we truly are getting close! I don't think anyone has posted photos and information yet, so I have no idea if these kids are really young (between 6-10 mo) like they were last month, or if they are bit older (between 9-12 mo). I should know in the next couple of days.

Congratulations to those families who are receiving the information on the children this week!

****UPDATE****November 21st is the cutoff, and the babies I've seen seem really young (6-8 mo with a couple around 11 mo.) There are apparently several boys, as well as several sets of twins! That's exciting (but won't happen to us...we did not apply for twins)!

Rumors and Such

First off...before I even enter the realm of discussing rumors...I do want to note that we have been on the list in China (LID) for 19 months today. Exciting? Not so much! I certainly expected to be home with Megan by now...26 months after beginning this process.

Okay, on to rumors...I hate to even put the rumors in writing, they really are too good. And most likely WAY to good to be true! They are, however, coming from multiple sources, so I'd be remiss if I didn't at least post them (then I can laugh later that they were so far off base!). The rumor is that they will complete the last half of November and get into December in the next batch, which will arrive sometime the first week of August.

NOW: before we all get excited...let me remind you that rumors that come out this early and look this good typically are NOT true, but they do provide a certain bit of humor! November was a record breaking month of families who submitted their documentation to China to adopt. Even the possibility that they could get through the last half of November in one month, while it took two months to get through the first half...is laughable. But it's out there.

The good thing this rumor does for me...(as someone else so eloquently stated) we are close enough to be in the rumors--well the month of December is, anyways. I'm still thinking that November is most likely when we will hear something. And it would be just like God to make me wait until after I pass my qualifying exams November 2-3 to get our referral! (It would be an AWESOME reward, though.) Although, it might be best or it would be INCREDIBLY difficult to focus on studying if I have Megan's picture and an upcoming trip of a lifetime in my sights before I take the exams! If we are in the November batch...we'd likely travel around Christmas time...Christmas in China...what would be a better present????

More Wedding Photos

Okay...got some more photos from my SIL...Thanks, Jodi!


Bride Katie & Flower Girl Ashley



Dad & Katie (Dad, what were you thinking at this moment?!)

I'm still waiting for the "must take the can-can off now" photos from the Park! Hopefully I've have them soon! (Long story, but hilarious and memorable! Oh, and if you see photos on the internet of a bridesmaid and bride standing behind a bus, both laughing while trying to hold the bride's dress up, email it to me!! Because that's us! --And a video of it would be even funnier--See I told you it was hilarious!)

Megan

No, we do not know anything more now than we did yesterday, but I thought I'd post some random thoughts. We know we are nearing the day we'll see her face. Every day we are one day closer. While I've been saying that for several months...but knowing that July is half over and that we could very well see her face in November makes it very real that we truly are VERY close.

Here are some random thoughts I'd had while following fellow Buckner/Gladney families and friends who are on the final leg of their trip to bring their little girls home. First, as I go to their blogs multiple times a day hoping for an update, I can't help but wonder...each of these girls looks SO DIFFERENT! Does Megan look like any of them? Is she in any of the providences that these families are at? Or is she in the same providence as our friends (and former neighbors) live in? Those families who were able to go to their daughter's orphanage...was Megan there? Have they seen Megan and we don't know it? Will Megan have long skinny legs like beautiful Abby or will she have a full face like adorable Faith? Will she grieve like Lili?

I've read recently that those who do the matching of children with families tend to not only look at bone structure, facial features and interests of the children and families, but they also look at dates. (Did you realize there were so many things they considered?) So, families are often referred children who are born near other family members' birth dates. Will Megan's birthday be in April like Ian? Or May like me? Or was she born in December like her daddy (which also happened to be his 40th birthday...and the 1 year anniversary of our file being sent to and logged-in in China)? Will we receive a referral around our 10th anniversary in October? If so, it would be a complete surprise and shock (at least from the view right now)!

So many questions...but the answers will be here soon...because November is only 3.5 months away!

Katie's Wedding

The Newly Weds: Katie & Greg

She says the wedding was exactly what she always dreamed she wanted, so that's good. From the worker bee perspective, oh my, let's not go there! Truly though, it was beautiful. There were a few funny snafus, but overall everything went grand.

Ashley was the flower girl and did beautifully! Everyone was very proud of her! Somehow, my camera was never where I was the entire day...so I have so few photos, but those with the photos have promised to send them to me. But, I did get a few...


Aunt Kris & Ashley before wedding


Aunt Kris & Brady at rehearsal dinner


Me & DH

***OH, and one final note*** Clark & NaTosha are having a girl! (They found out while we were back home.) So...two new girls will be joining the family in the next couple of months! (And we will be continuing the pattern: girl, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl! Who will join the family next? And will it be a boy?)

July's Referrals

The new batch of referrals came out yesterday! They were for families placed on the list between November 8 and 14, 2005. It is not a lot of days, however, the month of November has many, many families logged in. The kids I have heard about thus far are 6 - 10 months old, which are really pretty young.

This means there are 36 days left before they get to our day! YIPPEE!!! (Yes, today is "the wedding" day...more on that later!)

Nowhere

Again, I've been reading Ruthless Trust by Brennan Manning. I'm sad that I only have one chapter left, I want more! Today's chapter (chapter 11) is exceptional while humbling. Listen to this: "awareness that preoccupation with the yesterdays and tomorrows of life to the neglect of now/here--Nowhere--is not living at all."

Guilty. I live looking forward way too much...looking forward to our trip...looking forward to receiving Megan's photo...looking forward to bringing Megan home.

How about you? Are you living in today? I know, it's tough sometimes, especially if today does not contain exciting, fun or interesting things (yesterday was much better or tomorrow holds such promise). But, we only have today...tomorrow is not guaranteed. Yes, we all know the phrase, but how many of us actually live it? As for me, I am going to focus on today. After all, "today's trouble is enough for today" (Matt. 6:34 NRSV).

The Latest Rumors

Well, today's rumors sound similar to what I've been hearing quite a bit lately. That is...we could receive Megan's information sometime between October 2007 and January 2008. Big window. Certainly does not help us in deciding to schedule a vacation this fall or not. Every time I think "heck with it, let's schedule one!" I second guess myself! So, any ideas or suggestions???? I'm not much of a gambler which makes using up DH's vacation this year tough for me. I don't know.

So, what would it look like in bringing Megan home? Well, if we receive her information for our 10th anniversary in October (could it be true? It happened for the Zimmer's 15th!), then we'd likely travel sometime around Thanksgiving. If it's November that we hear, we'd probably spend Christmas in China (wouldn't THAT be cool???). If it's December, well, if I must think like that, then it'll probably be mid January. If it's January...well...they have holiday in February...so it'll likely be into March. Personally, I prefer the October or November choices!

A Formula to Trust

In reading Ruthless Trust, Manning introduces a formula. Simple math with complex application. (All taken from p. 86)

Faith + Hope = Trust

What is Faith? According to Manning, Faith arises from a personal experience of Jesus as Lord. I would argue it comes from more than a single experience. What kind of experience might it include? Let me see...the overwhelming joy and fulfillment you experience when he comes into your life. I can't really explain it unless you've experienced it.

What is Hope? According to Manning, Hope is the reliance on the promise of Jesus, accompanied by the expectation of fulfillment. I don't know if there is any explanation needed.

What is Trust? Also so well stated by Manning...it is the winsome wedding of faith and hope. It makes sense, doesn't it? You have to have faith and hope in order to trust in Jesus? Yep, I thought so to.

So, do you have faith and hope in Jesus? Even through the tough times, I wouldn't be without faith, hope and trust in Jesus. For me, there is no other way.

It's official

The current batch of referrals arrived yesterday. Some REALLY cute and pretty young kids! Quite a few boys (yes, boys do get adopted out). Typically people who receive boys are families who did not specify gender (we did, however). Unfortunately, it was not near the number of days as was expected which is a bummer. It goes through the families logged in November 7, 2005. We are currently 44 days after that date. So, who knows when we'll receive our referral. Hopefully in 2007!

**updated**Current predictions put us somewhere between October 2007 and January 2008. A mighty big window...one which I hope narrows and comes sooner!

**again updated**Our friends the Zimmers returned their final document! They are simply waiting on travel approval! The agency is working to get it quickly so they can travel with the agency's families who received referrals in May! So...they could be leaving as early as the beginning of July!!! SO EXCITING! They will finally be bringing Faith home!

Limiting God

I was able to read another chapter from Manning's book Ruthless Trust this morning. I truly do not think I can put into words my thoughts on this particular chapter (Thinking Big). I am going to try...and I may later decide it is not sufficient and leave it simply with a quote. He's talking about how we view/define/describe God in our own minds/hearts. So here's the quote, taken from pg. 56:

"The more we let go of our concepts and images, which always limit God, the bigger God grows and the more we approach the mystery of his indefinability. We overlook the dissimiliarity, we begin to speak with obnoxious familiarity about the Holy, make ludicrous comments such as 'I could never imagine God doing such a thing,' calmly predict Armageddon, glibly proclaim infallible discernment of the will of God, and trivialize God, trimming the claws of the Lion of Judah."

Do you see why I cannot come up with the words to describe what I'm thinking about what he writes here? I'm guilty, so guilty. It's true. We spend so much time trying to imagine who God is, we limit Him. We overlook His mystery. We make Him small. We put Him in a box: one that defines Him through our eyes. Oh boy, am I guilty. I've found myself asking, God why isn't Megan here yet? Trying to figure out His plan...His purpose...His perfect will. I can only discern where He wants me to be right now, then obediently be there. What other events must take place surrounding that, I cannot even begin to pretend I know. I can only do what I know the Lord wants me to do right now...the rest is up to Him. He holds the whole world in His hands. I think He can probably handle Megan and facilitate the exact moment our paths intersect. I know it is perfectly planned, not by me, but by someone so much bigger than me: God.

Gratitude

So I've started reading a new book. The author came highly recommended by various friends, and although none of them had heard of this particular one by the author, I knew by the title I needed to read it. It's Ruthless Trust by Brennan Manning. I've not gotten very far into the book, but there are so many challenges and enlightenments I cannot even process them all. If you are looking for a good book, I highly suggest this one.

Here's an example of one of the things that moved me this morning as I was reading. In this specific section he is talking about gratitude. He says "To walk in gratitude is a way of living that is inclusive, attentive, contagious, and theocentric" (p. 30). Each of these have excellent points. But in the 'gratitude is inclusive' he quoted something I just had to share. Henri Nouwen has written on the spiritual work of gratitude...

"To be grateful for the good things that happen in our lives is easy, but to be grateful for all of our lives--the good as well as the bad, the moments of joy as well as the moments of sorrow, the successes as well as the failures, the rewards as well as the rejections--that requires hard spiritual work." Yep. It sure does. And it never gets easier either, at least that's my experience.

He then closes the quote with this: "Let's not be afraid to look at everything that has brought us to where we are now and trust that we will soon see it in the guiding hand of a loving God." WOW! So this says to me that all the events of life (big and small) make up who I am and what I can do for God. Let's see...that would include traffic, work, school, studying, Ian, waiting for Megan, I could go on and on...man, what a perspective.

I almost need to take the sentence and place it everywhere I am so I can see it in all my circumstances and be grateful for the good, the bad and the ugly.