It's That Time Again

Referral time! Well, almost. The rumor is they are about ready to be sent. I hope they are sent today or early tomorrow so they will arrive yet this week. Otherwise, with Monday being a holiday, families in the US will have to wait until Tuesday to receive the news! That would be bad...well, not really. After all, if they are sent this week they will actually be earlier than usual, which would be very, very, VERY good!

Currently, they are saying that November 29 is likely the cutoff, the rumors have been scarce this month, so it they might not go that far. I'm not sure which I like better: a month where tight lips abound and we hear pretty much no information or a month of looooooooooooose lips where the news is so good, it's crazy and laughable. I'm thinking maybe the quiet months. I think they bring about less stress me anyways. So, that's the latest...which really isn't much. But, now you know what I know: pretty much nothin', honey.

My prediction/hope is they go to Nov 28...so if they get to the 29th...I'll be MORE than overjoyed and, for me, it will firmly keep us in the Nov/Dec 2007 range of when we will hear some news! So, that's all, folks!

Whew!

I have made it through a HORRIBLY busy week! I taught a mini term this week with 24 students! Each student turns in 2 papers over the week...which I promptly return the next morning and they take 3 exams. I still have their final projects to grade, but I do feel like I'm back to the land of the living. To top it off, I contracted food poisoning Thursday night, which meant Friday was a VERY short day (final exam and that's about it)! In fact, they did not complete their presentations, they simply turned in their projects as I was completely unable to sit through that many presentations having been up all night sicker than I have been in years. I think the last time I was this sick was before we were married! Needless to say, I won't be eating coleslaw for some time!

The weekend still holds a fairly long to-do list, but I feel like I do have somewhat of a handle on it, I think. Not including getting caught up on all the news, rumors and events that happened over the past week. Fall semester starts on Monday, which also means I have to complete the last minute things to be sure I'm ready for that to begin as well!

I do ask those who know us and our story to pray for a virtual friend of mine. She does not want to disclose too much information, so I will not identify her, but I do ask that you pray for her and her family. Her infant niece died this past week from a genetic disorder. She was the first child, first niece, first grandchild. Unfortunately, I know the pain as a mom to lose your baby and my family knows the pain of losing their first grandson/nephew. Please pray for their family. And, blogger friend (and fellow China adoptive mom-to-be), if you read this, know there are many on here who are praying for you and your family! God will be faithful, I promise!

Preparing Myself

Okay, potential bad news here (although it could be read as good news). Yes, I'm talking about projections for us getting referral. I've just scanned through the numbers of those that I KNOW are logged in before us in December. I've added it all up, guessing approximately how many families will be matched each month based on previous months, etc. It's not looking good.

I still believe it is looking good for 2007. However, November is not looking so good. Certainly, there is the possibility that they could begin to speed up more than I've estimated. Certainly, they could not speed up at all (which makes 2008 the year of Megan in our household). If my calculations are correct, we could miss the November group by ONE lousy DAY! While that would be more than disappointing and border on frustrating, it would guarantee us in the December batch. See there is a silver lining here. It would mean another Christmas without Megan, although being in the December batch means we will at least have her photo and know what providence she is in at Christmas time.

So, I'm putting it out there...if it happens there will much wailing and gnashing of teeth at our house for a day or two after referrals come out. But, after the sulking is over, the excitement of knowing we'll be in the next batch will propel us through the month, I know it will! Besides, we can't stay negative at our for too long...it's in our jeans (yes, I spelled that right!)!

August Cut Off

Much to my amazement referrals began arriving today! They do not typically arrive until at least the 4th so arriving on the 2nd is pretty amazing. It appears the cut off is November 21, 2005. While I'd have liked to see them get further into November, it is what I expected for this month's referrals.

What does that mean for us? Well, first off, there are LESS THAN 30 DAYS of families ahead of us! That's so incredibly exciting...we truly are getting close! I don't think anyone has posted photos and information yet, so I have no idea if these kids are really young (between 6-10 mo) like they were last month, or if they are bit older (between 9-12 mo). I should know in the next couple of days.

Congratulations to those families who are receiving the information on the children this week!

****UPDATE****November 21st is the cutoff, and the babies I've seen seem really young (6-8 mo with a couple around 11 mo.) There are apparently several boys, as well as several sets of twins! That's exciting (but won't happen to us...we did not apply for twins)!

Rumors and Such

First off...before I even enter the realm of discussing rumors...I do want to note that we have been on the list in China (LID) for 19 months today. Exciting? Not so much! I certainly expected to be home with Megan by now...26 months after beginning this process.

Okay, on to rumors...I hate to even put the rumors in writing, they really are too good. And most likely WAY to good to be true! They are, however, coming from multiple sources, so I'd be remiss if I didn't at least post them (then I can laugh later that they were so far off base!). The rumor is that they will complete the last half of November and get into December in the next batch, which will arrive sometime the first week of August.

NOW: before we all get excited...let me remind you that rumors that come out this early and look this good typically are NOT true, but they do provide a certain bit of humor! November was a record breaking month of families who submitted their documentation to China to adopt. Even the possibility that they could get through the last half of November in one month, while it took two months to get through the first half...is laughable. But it's out there.

The good thing this rumor does for me...(as someone else so eloquently stated) we are close enough to be in the rumors--well the month of December is, anyways. I'm still thinking that November is most likely when we will hear something. And it would be just like God to make me wait until after I pass my qualifying exams November 2-3 to get our referral! (It would be an AWESOME reward, though.) Although, it might be best or it would be INCREDIBLY difficult to focus on studying if I have Megan's picture and an upcoming trip of a lifetime in my sights before I take the exams! If we are in the November batch...we'd likely travel around Christmas time...Christmas in China...what would be a better present????

More Wedding Photos

Okay...got some more photos from my SIL...Thanks, Jodi!


Bride Katie & Flower Girl Ashley



Dad & Katie (Dad, what were you thinking at this moment?!)

I'm still waiting for the "must take the can-can off now" photos from the Park! Hopefully I've have them soon! (Long story, but hilarious and memorable! Oh, and if you see photos on the internet of a bridesmaid and bride standing behind a bus, both laughing while trying to hold the bride's dress up, email it to me!! Because that's us! --And a video of it would be even funnier--See I told you it was hilarious!)

Megan

No, we do not know anything more now than we did yesterday, but I thought I'd post some random thoughts. We know we are nearing the day we'll see her face. Every day we are one day closer. While I've been saying that for several months...but knowing that July is half over and that we could very well see her face in November makes it very real that we truly are VERY close.

Here are some random thoughts I'd had while following fellow Buckner/Gladney families and friends who are on the final leg of their trip to bring their little girls home. First, as I go to their blogs multiple times a day hoping for an update, I can't help but wonder...each of these girls looks SO DIFFERENT! Does Megan look like any of them? Is she in any of the providences that these families are at? Or is she in the same providence as our friends (and former neighbors) live in? Those families who were able to go to their daughter's orphanage...was Megan there? Have they seen Megan and we don't know it? Will Megan have long skinny legs like beautiful Abby or will she have a full face like adorable Faith? Will she grieve like Lili?

I've read recently that those who do the matching of children with families tend to not only look at bone structure, facial features and interests of the children and families, but they also look at dates. (Did you realize there were so many things they considered?) So, families are often referred children who are born near other family members' birth dates. Will Megan's birthday be in April like Ian? Or May like me? Or was she born in December like her daddy (which also happened to be his 40th birthday...and the 1 year anniversary of our file being sent to and logged-in in China)? Will we receive a referral around our 10th anniversary in October? If so, it would be a complete surprise and shock (at least from the view right now)!

So many questions...but the answers will be here soon...because November is only 3.5 months away!

Katie's Wedding

The Newly Weds: Katie & Greg

She says the wedding was exactly what she always dreamed she wanted, so that's good. From the worker bee perspective, oh my, let's not go there! Truly though, it was beautiful. There were a few funny snafus, but overall everything went grand.

Ashley was the flower girl and did beautifully! Everyone was very proud of her! Somehow, my camera was never where I was the entire day...so I have so few photos, but those with the photos have promised to send them to me. But, I did get a few...


Aunt Kris & Ashley before wedding


Aunt Kris & Brady at rehearsal dinner


Me & DH

***OH, and one final note*** Clark & NaTosha are having a girl! (They found out while we were back home.) So...two new girls will be joining the family in the next couple of months! (And we will be continuing the pattern: girl, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl! Who will join the family next? And will it be a boy?)

July's Referrals

The new batch of referrals came out yesterday! They were for families placed on the list between November 8 and 14, 2005. It is not a lot of days, however, the month of November has many, many families logged in. The kids I have heard about thus far are 6 - 10 months old, which are really pretty young.

This means there are 36 days left before they get to our day! YIPPEE!!! (Yes, today is "the wedding" day...more on that later!)

Nowhere

Again, I've been reading Ruthless Trust by Brennan Manning. I'm sad that I only have one chapter left, I want more! Today's chapter (chapter 11) is exceptional while humbling. Listen to this: "awareness that preoccupation with the yesterdays and tomorrows of life to the neglect of now/here--Nowhere--is not living at all."

Guilty. I live looking forward way too much...looking forward to our trip...looking forward to receiving Megan's photo...looking forward to bringing Megan home.

How about you? Are you living in today? I know, it's tough sometimes, especially if today does not contain exciting, fun or interesting things (yesterday was much better or tomorrow holds such promise). But, we only have today...tomorrow is not guaranteed. Yes, we all know the phrase, but how many of us actually live it? As for me, I am going to focus on today. After all, "today's trouble is enough for today" (Matt. 6:34 NRSV).

The Latest Rumors

Well, today's rumors sound similar to what I've been hearing quite a bit lately. That is...we could receive Megan's information sometime between October 2007 and January 2008. Big window. Certainly does not help us in deciding to schedule a vacation this fall or not. Every time I think "heck with it, let's schedule one!" I second guess myself! So, any ideas or suggestions???? I'm not much of a gambler which makes using up DH's vacation this year tough for me. I don't know.

So, what would it look like in bringing Megan home? Well, if we receive her information for our 10th anniversary in October (could it be true? It happened for the Zimmer's 15th!), then we'd likely travel sometime around Thanksgiving. If it's November that we hear, we'd probably spend Christmas in China (wouldn't THAT be cool???). If it's December, well, if I must think like that, then it'll probably be mid January. If it's January...well...they have holiday in February...so it'll likely be into March. Personally, I prefer the October or November choices!

A Formula to Trust

In reading Ruthless Trust, Manning introduces a formula. Simple math with complex application. (All taken from p. 86)

Faith + Hope = Trust

What is Faith? According to Manning, Faith arises from a personal experience of Jesus as Lord. I would argue it comes from more than a single experience. What kind of experience might it include? Let me see...the overwhelming joy and fulfillment you experience when he comes into your life. I can't really explain it unless you've experienced it.

What is Hope? According to Manning, Hope is the reliance on the promise of Jesus, accompanied by the expectation of fulfillment. I don't know if there is any explanation needed.

What is Trust? Also so well stated by Manning...it is the winsome wedding of faith and hope. It makes sense, doesn't it? You have to have faith and hope in order to trust in Jesus? Yep, I thought so to.

So, do you have faith and hope in Jesus? Even through the tough times, I wouldn't be without faith, hope and trust in Jesus. For me, there is no other way.

It's official

The current batch of referrals arrived yesterday. Some REALLY cute and pretty young kids! Quite a few boys (yes, boys do get adopted out). Typically people who receive boys are families who did not specify gender (we did, however). Unfortunately, it was not near the number of days as was expected which is a bummer. It goes through the families logged in November 7, 2005. We are currently 44 days after that date. So, who knows when we'll receive our referral. Hopefully in 2007!

**updated**Current predictions put us somewhere between October 2007 and January 2008. A mighty big window...one which I hope narrows and comes sooner!

**again updated**Our friends the Zimmers returned their final document! They are simply waiting on travel approval! The agency is working to get it quickly so they can travel with the agency's families who received referrals in May! So...they could be leaving as early as the beginning of July!!! SO EXCITING! They will finally be bringing Faith home!

Limiting God

I was able to read another chapter from Manning's book Ruthless Trust this morning. I truly do not think I can put into words my thoughts on this particular chapter (Thinking Big). I am going to try...and I may later decide it is not sufficient and leave it simply with a quote. He's talking about how we view/define/describe God in our own minds/hearts. So here's the quote, taken from pg. 56:

"The more we let go of our concepts and images, which always limit God, the bigger God grows and the more we approach the mystery of his indefinability. We overlook the dissimiliarity, we begin to speak with obnoxious familiarity about the Holy, make ludicrous comments such as 'I could never imagine God doing such a thing,' calmly predict Armageddon, glibly proclaim infallible discernment of the will of God, and trivialize God, trimming the claws of the Lion of Judah."

Do you see why I cannot come up with the words to describe what I'm thinking about what he writes here? I'm guilty, so guilty. It's true. We spend so much time trying to imagine who God is, we limit Him. We overlook His mystery. We make Him small. We put Him in a box: one that defines Him through our eyes. Oh boy, am I guilty. I've found myself asking, God why isn't Megan here yet? Trying to figure out His plan...His purpose...His perfect will. I can only discern where He wants me to be right now, then obediently be there. What other events must take place surrounding that, I cannot even begin to pretend I know. I can only do what I know the Lord wants me to do right now...the rest is up to Him. He holds the whole world in His hands. I think He can probably handle Megan and facilitate the exact moment our paths intersect. I know it is perfectly planned, not by me, but by someone so much bigger than me: God.

Gratitude

So I've started reading a new book. The author came highly recommended by various friends, and although none of them had heard of this particular one by the author, I knew by the title I needed to read it. It's Ruthless Trust by Brennan Manning. I've not gotten very far into the book, but there are so many challenges and enlightenments I cannot even process them all. If you are looking for a good book, I highly suggest this one.

Here's an example of one of the things that moved me this morning as I was reading. In this specific section he is talking about gratitude. He says "To walk in gratitude is a way of living that is inclusive, attentive, contagious, and theocentric" (p. 30). Each of these have excellent points. But in the 'gratitude is inclusive' he quoted something I just had to share. Henri Nouwen has written on the spiritual work of gratitude...

"To be grateful for the good things that happen in our lives is easy, but to be grateful for all of our lives--the good as well as the bad, the moments of joy as well as the moments of sorrow, the successes as well as the failures, the rewards as well as the rejections--that requires hard spiritual work." Yep. It sure does. And it never gets easier either, at least that's my experience.

He then closes the quote with this: "Let's not be afraid to look at everything that has brought us to where we are now and trust that we will soon see it in the guiding hand of a loving God." WOW! So this says to me that all the events of life (big and small) make up who I am and what I can do for God. Let's see...that would include traffic, work, school, studying, Ian, waiting for Megan, I could go on and on...man, what a perspective.

I almost need to take the sentence and place it everywhere I am so I can see it in all my circumstances and be grateful for the good, the bad and the ugly.

Holiday Weekend

On the eve of a long holiday weekend (for most of us, anyways!) I thought I'd post. The last few weeks have been so busy for me. I've started the enormous task of preparing for my qualifying exams. Oh my goodness...there is much more to do than I anticipated! I sure am glad that I started early! WHEW! If it ever stops raining here (yes, its been a very wet spring), we plan on staining the deck and maybe even painting inside this weekend. Whether it is dry enough to do either of these things remains to be seen, but we would like to get something off the long list of summer projects!

We are also on the eve of the next batch of referrals to come out. While we do not expect to be in this batch, rumor has it that it will be larger than we have seen for many a month. If they do get as many days as rumored, we could be in the August or September batch. Much better than the outlook a few weeks ago...which was most likely not bringing Megan home in 2007. Whenever it is, it will be the perfect timing. And we will wait until the appointed time.

Wait Here

In addition to our wonderful pastor, Brian, I frequently listen to a local pastor on the radio. The church is Reunion Church and the pastor is Richard Ellis. Here is the direct link to the most recent sermon that is absolutely moving: Wait Here. Some of the things that touched me...

When Jesus ascended into heaven, he told his disciples to wait here until the Comforter comes. The disciples had to wait more than 50 days. I wonder how many of them wanted to move forward...I wonder how many of them gave up...I wonder how many of them were frustrated and wavering in their faith that Jesus would even send the Comforter. I want to say, I can't imagine. But, unfortunately, I've had to wait for too many things (well, I think it's too many!). The waiting game is something I'm getting good at, not necessarily by my preference to be good at, just kind of happened that way. For example, we've been in process to bring Megan home for over 2 years now. It's been 3 years since Ian joined our family--I thought for sure after God took him home that He would bring us another child by now, but no, we've had to wait here.

Richard in his sermon mentions Habakkuk 2. I'm sure I've read this passage before, but I always find it amazing how God brings different things to life at the appointed time. Look at verse 3: "For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry." Oh man...the vision God gave us years ago to adopt from China--I knew it was not yet time, we had to wait. Yet, at the time the wait was easy. Now, we are still waiting as the appointed time is not yet here. But this wait is FAR more difficult! Being near the end of the journey...seeing the finish line...it sure is hard to wait. But, as Richard Ellis finishes up his sermon..."It is worth the wait." I've heard too many families talk about how when they meet their child for the first time, the wait simply melts away. Too many have said the wait was so worth it (of course they can say this after the fact!).

I certainly want to be where God wants us no matter how long it takes.

Weeds

Brian raised an interesting question this week. After challenging us to consider our expectations of God, he mentioned Matthew 13 and the Parable of the Sower and the Parable of the Weeds. He asked "Do you want to be weeds all your life?" It hit me like a ton of bricks. We have choices...oh, so many choices.

First question: do we want to be weeds? We certainly have the choice here. Do we want to choke out those who have received the word, are growing in the Lord, and are in our circle of friends/acquaintances? Do we, as weeds, want to lead these individuals astray? Do we realize the end result of weeds? They are bundled and burned at the end (Matt 13:40)? I hope we do not want to be weeds.

Second question: Are we "in the weeds"? This one gets a little tougher. This requires us to consider our friends and acquaintances. Are there more weeds around us than wheat? How does being around weeds affect us? We, of course, know the answer, but are we willing to face the answer? The wheat can get plucked up with the weeds...certainly tangled up and possibly choked out. If we are "in the weeds", what do we do? How are we going to change our course? How we do "move" our wheat? Certainly going to need some self-reflection and deep prayer.

Third question: Are we wheat? How do we ensure our wheat is as hearty as possible? How do we ensure we are healthy kernels? How do we surround ourselves with other wheat? If you know anything about farming or gardening, you know that plants that are surrounded by weeds tend to be wimpier than those not being choked out by weeds. If they are fruit or veggie bearing plants, the produce tends to be fewer and/or smaller while the well weeded garden produces much more and much better.

So, I walked away asking myself these questions...and so I pass them on to you. Are you: 1) a weed; 2) in the weeds; or 3) healthy thriving wheat with few weeds around?

A Milestone Achieved

Thank goodness the semester is over! I've submitted my final paper in my final doctoral class! WHEW! What an amazing feeling....of course the greatness of it fades fairly quickly when I think of the dissertation research I get to work on this summer. But for the moment, it feels good! If only it was the final submission of my dissertation. That would definitely call for a celebration of magnificant proportions!

In the mean time, I have a summer to-do list as long as my arm...all those things I've put off for so long will be tackled this summer. Once we see Megan's face, all "things to do" will be lost. Well, at least the ones not Megan related!

God is so Good

During the month of April at our church, we have been collecting funds for Chinese orphans. Originally, the project started with the gift to go to Megan's orphanage--either a cash donation or purchasing items that they need when we arrive in China. However, after the first week, I became aware of an orphanage who did not have a well. They literally carried water from somewhere else to meet the needs of about 60 children. So, we broadened it with the intent to help fund this well project and us take a small amount to Megan's orphanage since most orphanages who participate in international adoption seem to have fewer needs than those who do not participate. And this orphanage cares for special needs children who may never have a home outside of the orphanage.

I received the final numbers today...God is so good...not only will we be giving to fund a little more than half the well project ($3,500), but we are also taking $1,500 to Megan's orphanage. I am completely overwhelmed at how God allows me to be part of the amazing things He is doing in and through RCC. God is so good!